Greg

This is one of my favorite pictures of Greg. Just thought i'd throw it up for the world to see XD XD XD!!

OOOOOOOO i need a dirty woman.

Just in case that doesn't ring any bells, i'm listening to Pink Floyd.
I just feel like babbling about nothing for awhile, as i am lacking in things to do. I'm waiting on some more hours at work, so until then i have like, three days off. What am i even supposed to do with three days off? I just watched three episodes of QAF in a row, but had to stop because at least one roommate will be home soon and the last thing he needs to walk in on is some guys doing the nasty as nastily as possible.
One of my most favorite things to do is sit and listen to music for extremely long periods of time. Just listen and listen and listen, except iTunes is a little retarded sometimes and will play the same thing over and over again -_- But then there are the occasional moments, such as this one right now, where it'll throw on ZZ Top's La Grange, which it hasn't played for me in weeks. You go, iTunes! This song really does it for me.
One of my favorite sayings regarding the war is "We're going to free the SHIT out of you." isn't that funny? I thought it was funny. I saw that a whole bunch of dudes came home yesterday, and lets hope they stay here.
So Sug and i are going to Colorado with his parents and sister for his brother's wedding in June, and we just found out we're driving. Not that i've never been on a road trip before; I've been to Florida about 10 times and only flown twice, but it just takes a lot of preparation. Such as holding off on reading anything, writing anything, doing anything that can be done while sitting, so that you can do it in the 17 hours you'll be stuck in the car. I've made a list of books i've intended to read and will probably pluck from the library, and i need to start thinking up story plots i can consider. You never really realize how long 17-20 hours is until you're in the like, 6th hour and your eyes are starting to blur because you've been reading for so long. And, joy of joys, we get to go through Nebraska. Which is about as exciting as a pap smear, except less invasive. It's JUST that awesome. I mean, the least the Nebraskans could do is put up pretty flags or roadside performers along their hundreds of miles of corn fields.
I like this song. Evan's Blue "The Promise and the Threat"
You know what is really cool, that i never really thought of as that cool? I planted an amyrillis (is that spelled right, cause i can't get spellcheck to acknowledge it) and its growing. I can tell! it's like an inch taller than it was when i stuck it in the pot! It's very exciting for me!
Do you have any idea what just came on my iTunes? NSYNC. that's right. I LOVE THIS MACHINE!
I fucking loved nsync. Loved them. Loved them like candy. I have all their albums. Seriously, not joking. I know every song. I even have the albums from Europe. NOT KIDDING!!!! It's disgusting, isn't it! But i am not ashamed. Sug just walked in the door, and he's looking at me like i should be ashamed, but i am not! I am PROUD! Know why theyre called NSYNC?
justiN chriS joeY lanceteN, jC.

HAHAHAHA
I rock so hard.

Maybe We Should Try...Winning

I am concerned for my Red Wings. So many things went wrong last night.
A. We lost
B. At home
C. 2-0
D. That's right,
E. Shut out,
F. Against a #5 team,
G. And we're #1
H. Not even cool

We're playing the sharks and while i had my concerns; i was pretty sure we'd go to 6 games or maybe even 7, but i was also expecting us to play hockey last night as opposed to the skate-around-not-sure-what-exactly-is-happening game.
We didn't play well, and the sharks played great.
We're also really hurting because we lost Holmstrom for a few games. He's just one of those guys who is constantly screening the goalie in a really obnoxious assholey way, but we've come to depend on that, and no one wants to screen the goalie that way, because no one has balls as big as Holmy's.
Just wanted to bitch about that.
We should try winning tomorrow afternoon.
Or at least playing the game.

Why I like Boy Love (and other musings)

So one of my professors raised an interesting point. Apparently I like boy-on-boy action. Apparently he is also the only professor to have the balls to mention it XD. It's not new. Creative Writing, English, any classes that involve writing, i make sure to include a fic involving gay attraction. So whats with that?
When i thought about this as i got into my car today after i got my paper back, the first thing that came to mind is "I guess i like to make people squirm"
And i suppose that much is true.
I like to write love stories about love that is not "traditional". Traditional love stories are great and all, but they are so...tedious. Anyone can write a love story, boy meets girl, blah blah blah, whatever. Sometimes i like to raise the bar a little and write stories about two boys, or two girls, or interracial, or someone much older. That's probably why my paper for HUM203 does not have any love in the 'traditional' sense. We have a stalker love song, brokeback mountain, a teacher-student love affair, and a short story involving a gay character.
What is it with me and gay guys, you ask?
Well, i suppose it all started quite a few years ago when a little show entitled Queer As Folk made its debut on showtime. My friend Brittany (who amazingly enough was struggling with her sexuality and soon after came out as a lesbian--the show actually helped her get the courage to face her orientation) and i rented the first season one night on a whim, and watched all like, 22 episodes in one very long night. And let me tell you, that show CHANGED MY LIFE. I don't care that it was fiction, those characters became my best friends. It was so real, so groundbreaking, so unseen! Brian, Michael, Justin, Ted, and Emmett, gay best friends, all searching for love. Except Brian. Brian, the no-apologies, selfish arrogant prick who fucks everything that moves, immediately becomes the object of 17-year-old Justin's affections. They eventually fall in love, (well, justin was in love with him right off the bat, it took Brian awhile) and it was honestly one of the most romantic, compelling relationships i have seen on TV. It was portrayed so beautifully, and every episode, i mean EVERY episode left you staring at the credits until they finished rolling. Kind of like really good movies where you can't pull yourself away? Same with QAF. It is my absolute most favorite show and is definitely the most breath-taking series i've ever witnessed. For five seasons i lived for that damn series, until the finale and i was depressed for about a month. It was so sad, knowing i'd no longer get to peak into their lives for an hour and a half every sunday night! While it might be sad that a show can do that to you, it is also true and i am not embarrassed about it. It could be worse, i could be in love with Dancing with the Stars, or something.

Anyway, so i guess that's my story. I was so inspired by the relationships on Queer as Folk, the shit they endured and the balls they all had, that i began to find difficult, untraditional love more compelling than the average relationship. There was something very unapologetic, very raw about QAF, and it has stuck with me ever since.

If it evens me out at all, i'm a huge house/cameron shipper, and they're man and woman XD
I also cheer whenever Colleen and her professor make out. See, i like straight couples.
But even the straight couples are fucked up!
House is a grouchy old bastard and Cameron was once a sweet doe-eyed puppy-lover and is slowly turning into a hardened sarcasm-whore due to the fact that house won't love her (this is just what I take away from her turning into a freak). So theyre fucked up, and i mean, who even needs the story between 20-year-old Col and Professor Adrian Korbel, art historian. Who cares, he's Israeli and approachable-y hot. And he says words like "articulate" and "inconspicuous" and other words that are generally too large for the soap-opera population to pronounce.

I guess i just like difficult/untraditional/fucked up relationships.
I'm glad mine's pretty damn normal.

Cigarette.

Let me get this straight.
So smoking causes lung cancer, emphysema, the distinct smell of ass, and death, among other things.
We're...pretty well aware of this, yes?
So why, WHY DO TEENAGERS THINK THEYRE SO DAMN AWESOME WHEN THEY SMOKE?
would someone please explain this to me?
And would someone please explain why italics won't turn off?
So GODDAMIT ITALICS! THERE WE GO! JESUS!
.
I just don't get why people, especially teenagers and kids my age, smoke! I mean if anything, it should be about vanity! Who wants to stink!?
Seriously!!

No one wants to stink! But apparently smoking is more important than not smelling like a dumpster whore!! I mean, i have to take showers after going to main street cause i can't stand the smell of cigarettes on my skin! It's DISGUSTING!! it is probably the most unattractive thing i can think of. Immediate turn off. I could see the fucking hottest guy in the history of the planet and if i saw that he smoked, i'd rather do Dan Rather. Unless he smokes too.

It's just so effin nasty!!
Would someone PLEASE explain this to me!

I just fucking hate listening to people carry on and on and on about smoking. Why would you talk about smoking!? Why discuss it? What is there to discuss? i mean, what kind of conversation starter is "so i just smoked an entire pack, wow"? what am i supposed to say? "Congratulations on shortening your life another 5 years!"?!??!

Cigarettes.
Gross.
fucking GROSS.

I really, really don't get it. And in all honesty, i don't really want to.

COM-PLE-TED!!!

it is done, so i will celebrate with FUN FONT!!!!

Actually its just courier new. but its NEW!! and FUN!!

Yes. So LLWII is finished. I am very excited about this amazing feat, and i hope that you are too! This means that i can A. go back to working on psychoville, or B. come up with a new story! How exciting! I love to write! yaay yaaaay yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!

Know what else is awesome? School is almost done! I don't have to take any exams! I am THAT FUCKING COOL! All i have this week is that stupid dreaded goddamn presentation for psych, and hopefully i can get through that without ending that stupid bitch's life!!

Now, i don't know if i'm just some goody-two shoes overachiever, but i tend to enjoy getting good grades. I enjoy using my brain. Exercising it, if you will. Basically, i don't have a problem with THINKING.
Apparently some people do.

Let me tell you something i absolutely hate. I hate being graded as a group on group projects. There is always that ONE person who does NOTHING and the rest of us either A. fail because of her or B. she passes because of us. Neither is acceptable. We should pass, she should fail. But it doesn't work that way. That is why we have to physically meet with our teacher on tuesday to request that she get NOTHING due to the NOTHINGNESS she contributed to our fucking project!!! In fact, nothing would have been better than what she did! see, she PRETENDED to do something, but in actually, DIDN'T!!!
AAAHGHGHAAAAAAALWLWWWAAAA. What do we even do about this!? Half of our paper is missing because of her! GODDAMMIT!!! I hate to go to our teacher with this like some 3rd graders tattling, but for fuckssake what are we supposed to do? We can't just make up 50 survey responses, and we especially can't do it in like 3 days! God i can't wait for this fucking thing to be over so i can kick her in the face.

Back to hockey!

ALMOST DONE!

I'M ALMOST FINISHED WITH LLW 2!!! This story has taken me entirely too long!!! stupid school!! That's almost done too, thankfully. Then i'll have time to do whats important in life, and thats WRITING!!
Let me tell you something, writing a heroin OD is extremely difficult. Writing about the collapsed veins and the reddened arms and shortness of breath until the eventual unconsciousness is really hard. It takes a lot out of you, emotionally. I mean, i've never done heroin, and i doubt i'd even know heroin if i saw it. But still, the pain my character was going through...MAN! it took me for-fucking-ever, and i didn't even pay attention to LOST last night. But now that thats over, he's in the hospital and he's going to be ok. Phew!
Some of you may be wondering why i am relieved that my own character lived through his ordeal that I made happen. Sometimes even the writer doesn't know how something will turn out until her hands tell her so! I didn't know if he was going to live or die up until the last moment, where his eyes were wide open, unblinking, staring straight above. Painful.
Here. try this on for size...

Ville had no idea how much time had passed but it was long enough for him to count one thousand breaths, each becoming more and more short and labored.

Could he have possibly….

Taken too….

Ville coughed hard, lurching forward and losing his balance, falling to the floor. He caught himself on his hands and knees, coughing more and dropped onto his side, groaning as the cold, hard cement floor met with his trembling body. He cradled his head in his hands, covering his eyes as everything began to spin uncontrollably, making him want to throw up. He curled his legs up to his chest and gasped for breath, his stomach seemingly clenching all his organs into a tight ball in his abdomen. His throat tightened. He rolled onto his back and dropped his palms from his eyes, staring wide eyed at the ceiling swirling and spinning above him. His chest rose and fell in quick, harsh movements, hands scratching at the cement below him. Nails broke and fingers bled, but he felt nothing but his heart and its shallow beats. He hitched one more ragged breath before he fell unconscious, eyes locked in a frozen stare to heaven.

Heavy.

VA Tech

I simply cannot believe what happened at VA Tech yesterday. I just can't believe it. I don't understand how this could have possibly taken place! I do not understand how someone could have been shot in a dorm two hours prior to the massacre, and yet no one seemed to know about the first shooting. Why was campus not locked down? Why were students allowed to leave their rooms? The absolute minute police learned that a student had been killed by an unknown assailant, campus should have been shut down completely. If someone is murdered in a dormitory, and you can't find the guy that did it, i would THINK that MAYBE they'd act a little FASTER than an EMAIL.
Unfortunately, that is not the way events played out, and 30+ people ended up dead. How does something like this happen!? And a better question, how does someone DO THAT!? What could have possibly been going through this young man's mind when he open fired on a fucking classroom? And why did he turn the gun on himself? Was it a planned murder-suicide deal, did he not want to face the repercussions of his actions? Or did he go through some blind rage, only to come out of it and realize he'd taken dozens of lives, and ended his own in a fatal attempt of apology?
How is it, that after all the rules and regulations and claims of 'gun control', that a student can get ahold of 2 9mm handguns and just...SHOOT EVERYONE!?
I heard about this when i got home from work yesterday around noon. They knew nothing! All the newscasters could tell us is that at least 20 people had been shot and killed at VA Tech. The number kept rising. All they knew was people were shot to death. I never, EVER want to be in a situation like that, where i've got no fucking idea what is happening, and all i know is people are dying. I cannot even begin to fathom how terrifying that had to be for students on that campus. To hear gunshots and have to climb under your desk, wondering if you should be reflecting back on your young life, and probably are even if you don't mean to. The eternal optimist would be doing the exact same thing; i would be doing the exact same thing. Wondering why this was happening and why NO ONE WAS STOPPING IT.
It's absolutely horrifying, and i'm wrecked just thinking about it.