I'm Poor but I Still Smile

There are a lot of things that I would like to do, but can't, due to being poor. I work two jobs. I make 7.50 at one and 7.05 at the other. I pay for my own rent, tuition, groceries, bills, what have you. And yet, people still get on my case about why I've chosen not to transfer to a four year college. I am so Goddamn sick of everyone looking down upon me because after this semester, I'm only going to work. It's not that I never plan on going back to school again, it's just that right now I'm too broke. I am one of the oh, three or four people in the world who has to pay for college the old fashioned way-- with money. I'm the only person in my house who has to pay for school. Greg's parents pay for his. Dan's got a full ride. Jared has financial aid.
My parents do not pay for my college, nor did I ever expect them to. My mom bought my books for my first two semesters but since then I've taken over. It really isn't their job to make sure I get to college; however, if they aren't going to pay, they can get off my goddamn back about how i've decided not to go anymore for now.
As for a full ride, yeah right. My brain isn't the size of an industrial computer.
As for financial aid, yeah. I fucking hate financial aid. It is evil. I am still considered a dependent on my parents, just because I only just moved out in October. However, I've needed financial aid since my friggin freshman year, but they won't give it to me on account of my parents make 100,000+ a year. In case you're as rigoddamndiculously stupid as the gov't, I said my PARENTS make that much. I, on the other hand, make like 6 dollars/year. So the gov't concludes that because my parents make money, I don't need any. My parents don't pay for anything dammit! I pay for it all! Why does financial aid just assume that my parents will just give me money out of the goodness of their hearts? We work for what we want in my family, and college has been clearly stated to be something we are to pay for ourselves.
I just wish that my mom would fuckin relax though. She's all freaked out because I'm not majoring in anything because there's nothing at valley i'm remotely interested in. I'm not going to go to Western and spend 20 million dollars a semester only to decide, oh, i don't want to major in this either. I don't like to waste money like that. I don't have money to waste like that.
I've decided that the best thing for me to do right now is work. I need to work to keep up with my rent and all that junk, and not paying tuition would be beautiful, because I need to tack on medical insurance to my already long list of bills. I'd rather keep up with my rent than go live back home, because I don't exactly want to go back to 'dating' Greg. It'd be way too weird. It'd be like
"hey, what do you want to do tonight"
"remember when we used to share a bed?"

Exactly.

And honestly, the defining reason is that the thought of me not going to school doesn't shatter me. it actually makes me kind of happy. Until i figure out what i want to major in, i don't want to waste my time.
Contrary to popular belief, i like my jobs. I like working at Hardings, and i like working at waldenbooks. I love my coworkers, they're all my friends now. I like leaving work at work. I like completely forgetting about it until the next morning. I think i'd rather kill myself than work in a high-stress job. People think my job isn't important? Yeah well, you want food, don't you? Cause i could go ahead and not do my job, and you could go ahead and starve.
So i'm poor but i still smile. I don't have all the money in the world, but i have a fantastic love and a stress-free, physical job. I keep in shape and i eat healthy because i can't afford fast food. I keep strict tabs on my budget and I carefully examine everything i plan to buy. Yeah, it can be annoying sometimes, but at least i'm not ending up with a bunch of shit i don't need. It's amazing what we don't need. You'd be surprised how little we actually have to have. I'm so poor. But you know whats cool? I'm so happy. You should try being a hippie too.
It's great to get over the so-called importance of go-to-college-get-a-degree-find-some-job-go-and-die.
I mean, i'm sure that someday i'll do all those things.
Just not in that order.