I was thinking about this the other day, and i've had some cool encounters with rock stars. Three to be precise. Incubus, Greenday, and HIM.
I met Incubus back in 2004 (WAY TO FREAKING LONG AGO). I won backstage passes in their MYF auction (put me 240 bucks in the hole but it was so worth it). And we got to meet before the show so that was nice because they weren't exhausted and sweaty and anxious to leave. My friend Breezy came with me, and man it was freaking awesome.
First of all, they are your typical boys. Funny, childish, you know the drill. Their drummer, Jose, complimented me on my name and signed my autograph with "NICE MARY! JOSE!" and he wrote shit on breezy's because i think he spelled her name wrong or something.
you can see already that our autograph pages are really, really interesting.
When i met brandon i thought i was going to defecate myself, but i somehow held it in and we had a nice conversation about art. I think Mikey was either drunk or high when he was there and was drawing pictures on everyone's autograph. I got Saturn. complete with rings.
After that was done we all just kind of wandered around, mingling with other fans and the band. Then someone got a ball out and started playing dodgeball, and i had the privilege of hearing brandon, my idol, scream like a girl and get smacked with a ball. It was thoroughly entertaining.
And Jose tackled me. Which was exciting. Like tackle tackle. we woulda been on the floor if he hadn't pulled me back.
I had this nice conversation with Mikey, he's like an inch taller than me (i'm 5'3) so it was so cute! he had the biggest pile of curls.
We all had a really nice time. I was really impressed with them. I mean, when we all said goodbye, Brandon actually had the decency to remember i was going to art school and said "good luck, i hope i see your art in museums someday"
i mean, who remembers that? it was just a really nice gesture. That was definitely one of the top 5 experiences of my life.
Incubus is the only band i've ever actually met. But I had just as neat experiences with Greenday and HIM.
I saw Greenday in 2005. It was actually the night of our senior prom but seriously, who'd rather go to fucking PROM when you can see GREENDAY AND MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE FOR 25 BUCKS!? yeah, exactly. It was actually my boyfriend's and my first date. Anyway, so we got there at like 10 am because we were on the floor and we wanted FANTASTIC floorspace (although everyone knows by the time the show is over you're literally 3 miles from where you originally planted yourself). Anyway so we're sitting on the ground in line for like six hours. We took turns wandering around so we wouldn't lose our spot in line, and Greg found a My Little Pony cone hat (like for kids parties) in the gutter. So, obviously, he put it on. So we just played with that hat for like four hours and then FINALLY they started letting people in the arena. We couldn't take the awesome hat with us, so we left it at the gates, on top of a brick thing.
SO like an hour later, we're just enjoying the fantastic show, Billie Joe came out in a bunny suit, you know the drill, blah blah blah. Till randomly, middle of the show. Billie Joe appears with this FUCKING MY LITTLE PONY HAT perched right on top of his scraggly little head.
Now where the fuck do you suppose he got that? So Greg and i thought that was pretty damn sweet.
plus after the show we ran into some guy who'd caught Tre's drumsticks at the end of the show so i got to hold those for a sec.
And last but certainly not least, HIM. We saw HIM in chicago in 2005 as well. It's been far too long. Anyway, so that show pretty much went without incident up until they performed "Play Dead". Greg and i were pretty much front row center, and everyone was pretty subdued for that song, you know, lighters and everything. So Greg and i just decide to dance to it since we're not getting murdered in a moshpit for 3 minutes. The guitar solo begins and Ville NOTICES us. He sees us dancing and begins to laugh. He smiles and points and waves to us, and we wave back. he smiles and nods like 'yeah bitches' and begins to sing again. We honestly didn't really think much about it because i mean we've only been dating for like 5 months at this point and are still focused majorly on each other. But later on we were like, "Dude, Ville Valo saw us dancing and thought it was cute"
That was one of those delayed reaction things. and then we were like FUCKING YEAH!!!
I just randomly wanted to share those experiences.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Why you are a terrible customer.
I work at a grocery store as a stocker, department manager, and cashier. So i'd like to think that i'm pretty well-rounded in the experience area. As my co-worker Ryan and I were trying hard as hell to finish up dairy so that we could do inventory on our respective stock, I kept getting called to open a register because we were SO. DAMN. BUSY. And i got to thinking. My life would be made a hellovalot easier if customers would just behave. I was about ready to kill several people today and i only had to cashier for about a half hour. But the more i thought about it, the more i realized that most customers probably don't even realize what they're doing that's so wrong. So i decided to take it upon myself to tell you what it is that makes you a terrible customer.
THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT MAKES YOU A TERRIBLE CUSTOMER IS....
You write a check.
Let me tell you something about checks. THEY ARE EVIL. Do you have ANY idea how ANNOYING it is for me, as a cashier, to deal with your check!? Our store has an electronic check system. That on its own is extremely aggravating and time-consuming because we have to do about 10 things before we can send the customer on their way.
1. give cashier check.
2. cashier runs it through machine
3. select 'personal' in check options.
4take it out of machine.
5. wait for approval.
6. have customer sign screen.
7. re-enter check through machine
8. machine prints VOID on check.
9. Return check to customer
10. Verify on the register that you did indeed return the check to the customer
11. give customer receipt
12. give customer piece of paper that tells us that they will pay the amount written.
And yes, it takes EXACTLY as long as it sounds.
So you can imagine that check-writing is QUITE UPSETTING to us cashiers sometimes, especially when we're busy.
These next few correspond with the check-thing.
II. you don't have a pen and expect me to have one.
Ok, let me explain something to you. I don't carry a pen with me. I carry a very large black marker, two box-cutters, and if it's Saturday, a pair of gloves. There. Now you know what we keep in those apron pockets. Know why i don't have a pen? Because I DON'T NEED ONE! I don't write checks! Why the FUCK do i need a pen? YOU SHOULD HAVE A PEN! You're the one who needs the goddamn pen! And don't get pissy at me when I don't have a pen for you! If you INSIST on using a fucking DEAD technology, then you should carry a goddamn fucking pen and don't give me a dirty look when you ask for one and i don't have one for you. I'm not your personal pen-carrier.
I'd also like to make note that with the electronic check system, you don't even have to fill out your check and therefore really don't need a pen. But trying to explain that to people is like speaking Swahili.
III. You write the check over and don't tell me
I can't read your mind. I don't really read your check. I'm not going to know that you wrote it over 10 dollars if you don't tell me. I don't care that you've written it over and want some money back. But you NEED TO INFORM ME THAT THE AMOUNT ON THE CHECK IS NOT THE AMOUNT OF YOUR PURCHASE!
IV. You don't begin writing your check until i've told you the total.
You're a bitch if you do this. 'nuff said.
Moving on from checks....
The number two reason you are a terrible customer....
You put different fruit and vegetables into the same bag.
Ok, seriously. Things such as APPLES and SQUASH do not have BARCODES. They have a little sticker with a four-digit number on them. You may have noticed this. You also may notice that whenever a cashier has produce, they type in a bunch of numbers to ring it up. Those numbers are the ones on the sticker. You may also be aware that we price produce according to pound. That's why there are SCALES in the produce section. No, they aren't just there for decoration. Each fruit and each vegetable has its own number and its own price/lb. So you might understand it now when i say DO NOT PUT DIFFERENT TYPES OF PRODUCE INTO THE SAME PLASTIC BAG! I get people coming through with six different types of apples all in the same bag. Do you know what i have to do then? I have to take each one out and ring it up individually. And that just leads to a whole mess of trouble. First of all, i don't want to touch your produce for the exact same reason you don't want me touching your produce. My hands are dirty, and you're gonna wanna eat that apple. So it would just be doing me a HUGE service if you were to just put your damn fruit in separate bags according to type. Pink Ladies go with Pink Ladies. Fujis go with Fujis. Granny Smiths DO NOT GO WITH Braeburn!! It's really not much to ask.
NUMBER THREE
This goes for stockers and cashiers alike.
Do not ask me to look for something that you haven't even looked for yourself. As a stocker, ok, i suppose this can be ok sometimes. If you just want the aisle, or to be pointed in the general direction, then ok, of course. We can help you. But do not make me go get it for you! Fuck, are you seriously that lazy!? I'm a STOCKER, not a personal shopper.
And when i'm cashiering, come on. i'm BUSY! I can't just close my lane to go get you something! You have two legs!
Ok so i was on lane today, and this lady comes up to me and she doesn't have anything with her but a piece of paper. she thrusts it at me and says, "Do you have this kind of tequila?" and i said "I'm not sure, did you check on the liquor wall for it?"
(The liquor wall is literally ten feet in front of the lanes, by the way.) and she looks at me and says "No."
I'm a blank. I got nothing. I kind of look at the liquor wall helplessly, and then at the four people in my line, and i say "well I don't really know if we have it---"
and she interrupts me, saying " well could you maybe FIND someone who DOES?"
No bitch. No. I can't. Do you SEE THIS LINE!? DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE? CAN YOU NOT WALK TEN FUCKING FEET TO LOOK FOR YOURSELF!?
But thank god the manager walked by at that time so i threw her at him.
Seriously people. You have eyes. LOOK.
And yes, we did have the liquor. It was in a lime green box. cost her 50 bucks. Oh sophisticated marketplace shoppers.
NUMBER FOUR
You tell the me how much everything you bought is before i ring it up.
Yes, thank you, i can read. These confounded computers are actually good for something. RINGING UP ITEMS. It does, in fact, tell me how much everything is. Don't sit there and every time i pick up an item, say "oh that's 2 for 3. " "oh, that's 1.59/lb"
I know.
Thank you.
STOP IT! CHRIST ITS ANNOYING! I don't care if you phrase it as a question, such as 'that's on sale for such-such, right?" and i can say "yes" and move along! But don't sit there and tell me how much everything you bought is because I DON'T CARE! It's however much it rings up as! I'm not gonna take your damn word for it over the computer's so don't fucking argue with me!
NUMBER FIVE
My closed sign is up, and you come in my lane anyway.
I'm not kidding. I really am closed. Chances are you've caught me 5 minutes after i'm supposed to outta here and i'm trying to clean the belt and close my drawer out. In fact, i've probably already removed my drawer so i can specifically avoid ringing up anyone else. I can't help you. I don't really even want to help you. Go to the next lane that says OPEN. just because i'm at the lane doesn't mean i'm here to serve you. i'm CLOSED.
NUMBER SIX
You try to get in after we close.
his is most annoying on sundays because we close 2 hours earlier than normal. However, it states very clearly on the entrance doors that we close at EIGHT PM on sundays. It also might be obvious in that the entrance doors are locked. So what do you do? You come in through the exit.
WHO DOES THAT? C'MON! WHAT PART OF CLOSED DON'T YOU GET!?
You know what? come on in, because all the lanes are closed out anyway. There ain't no money in them. You could put 200 dollars worth of groceries in your cart if you want, but no ones gonna ring you up because the money is locked up in the cash office, counted and ready to go and we're LEAVING. We aren't going to help you after closing time, especially if you come in through the FUCKING EXIT!
NUMBER SEVEN
You don't put things back where you found them.
There's nothing more annoying than finding cheetos in the milk and milk in the broccoli. Just ask someone to put it back for you! I'd much rather you ask me to take whatever you don't want back to whatever aisle than find rotten meat in the stuffed animals again!
NUMBER EIGHT
You don't believe me when i say we don't have something.
Look, if i say we don't have buttermilk, we don't FUCKING have buttermilk! Who's the stocker here!? I spend six hours in the damn cooler, i know if we have buttermilk or not!
"Do you have buttermilk?"
"I'm sorry, we're all out of it today, we'll have an order in on tuesday"
"Could you check?"
What the fuck did i just say woman. I said tuesday. It's not tuesday. Come back on TUESDAY. Just because you want the buttermilk now doesn't mean its going to fall out of the sky for you and we aren't going to magically have a case in the cooler. I mean, if i say "i'm not sure" then of course i'll go look for it. Because hey, i'm not sure. but if i say 'no, we don't have it' i mean NO! Why would i purposely avoid a sale? Just believe me ok?
I'd also like to make note that any stocker who says we don't have something and its told to go check and goes to check, he's not checking. He probably just went to get a drink of water and then will come back and tell you the exact same thing.
NUMBER NINE
You wander into the back room (stock room, behind the big doors, whatever) looking for something.
GET OUT. this is NOT your shopping space!! This is MY area, not YOURS! I don't wanna be sitting in back, going through my stock bins, listening to my ipod, and have some random customer wandering on back looking for something! NO! JUST STOP!
This goes for the cooler as well. The cooler is loud, its hard to hear whats going on around you, and you really can't hear what's going out outside of it. There's nothing fucking scarier than to be stocking orange juice and looking over to see some fat ass for-all-i-know murderer staring at beer! THIS IS NOT A WALK IN COOLER! There are NO doors to the cooler the lead out to the sales floor! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET BACK HERE!? GET OUT!!!! if you want something, ASK!
And the NUMBER TEN reason you are a terrible customer is....
You complain to me about the price of something.
Yeah, because i totally priced everything in here to my own personal liking. YOU'RE the one that came to this place! You coulda gone to Meijer, or fucking walmart for all i care, but no, you had to come to the SOPHISTICATED marketplace!! So don't bitch at me when everything is a dollar more than anywhere else. it's not my fault, and i'm not going to mark it down for you.
Wow, that felt AWESOME. I really needed to get that out. And I hope this valuable information will turn you into the absolute best customer that you can be. I know that working at a grocery store has certainly transformed my etiquette towards those who serve me, and i hope it will yours too.
THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT MAKES YOU A TERRIBLE CUSTOMER IS....
You write a check.
Let me tell you something about checks. THEY ARE EVIL. Do you have ANY idea how ANNOYING it is for me, as a cashier, to deal with your check!? Our store has an electronic check system. That on its own is extremely aggravating and time-consuming because we have to do about 10 things before we can send the customer on their way.
1. give cashier check.
2. cashier runs it through machine
3. select 'personal' in check options.
4take it out of machine.
5. wait for approval.
6. have customer sign screen.
7. re-enter check through machine
8. machine prints VOID on check.
9. Return check to customer
10. Verify on the register that you did indeed return the check to the customer
11. give customer receipt
12. give customer piece of paper that tells us that they will pay the amount written.
And yes, it takes EXACTLY as long as it sounds.
So you can imagine that check-writing is QUITE UPSETTING to us cashiers sometimes, especially when we're busy.
These next few correspond with the check-thing.
II. you don't have a pen and expect me to have one.
Ok, let me explain something to you. I don't carry a pen with me. I carry a very large black marker, two box-cutters, and if it's Saturday, a pair of gloves. There. Now you know what we keep in those apron pockets. Know why i don't have a pen? Because I DON'T NEED ONE! I don't write checks! Why the FUCK do i need a pen? YOU SHOULD HAVE A PEN! You're the one who needs the goddamn pen! And don't get pissy at me when I don't have a pen for you! If you INSIST on using a fucking DEAD technology, then you should carry a goddamn fucking pen and don't give me a dirty look when you ask for one and i don't have one for you. I'm not your personal pen-carrier.
I'd also like to make note that with the electronic check system, you don't even have to fill out your check and therefore really don't need a pen. But trying to explain that to people is like speaking Swahili.
III. You write the check over and don't tell me
I can't read your mind. I don't really read your check. I'm not going to know that you wrote it over 10 dollars if you don't tell me. I don't care that you've written it over and want some money back. But you NEED TO INFORM ME THAT THE AMOUNT ON THE CHECK IS NOT THE AMOUNT OF YOUR PURCHASE!
IV. You don't begin writing your check until i've told you the total.
You're a bitch if you do this. 'nuff said.
Moving on from checks....
The number two reason you are a terrible customer....
You put different fruit and vegetables into the same bag.
Ok, seriously. Things such as APPLES and SQUASH do not have BARCODES. They have a little sticker with a four-digit number on them. You may have noticed this. You also may notice that whenever a cashier has produce, they type in a bunch of numbers to ring it up. Those numbers are the ones on the sticker. You may also be aware that we price produce according to pound. That's why there are SCALES in the produce section. No, they aren't just there for decoration. Each fruit and each vegetable has its own number and its own price/lb. So you might understand it now when i say DO NOT PUT DIFFERENT TYPES OF PRODUCE INTO THE SAME PLASTIC BAG! I get people coming through with six different types of apples all in the same bag. Do you know what i have to do then? I have to take each one out and ring it up individually. And that just leads to a whole mess of trouble. First of all, i don't want to touch your produce for the exact same reason you don't want me touching your produce. My hands are dirty, and you're gonna wanna eat that apple. So it would just be doing me a HUGE service if you were to just put your damn fruit in separate bags according to type. Pink Ladies go with Pink Ladies. Fujis go with Fujis. Granny Smiths DO NOT GO WITH Braeburn!! It's really not much to ask.
NUMBER THREE
This goes for stockers and cashiers alike.
Do not ask me to look for something that you haven't even looked for yourself. As a stocker, ok, i suppose this can be ok sometimes. If you just want the aisle, or to be pointed in the general direction, then ok, of course. We can help you. But do not make me go get it for you! Fuck, are you seriously that lazy!? I'm a STOCKER, not a personal shopper.
And when i'm cashiering, come on. i'm BUSY! I can't just close my lane to go get you something! You have two legs!
Ok so i was on lane today, and this lady comes up to me and she doesn't have anything with her but a piece of paper. she thrusts it at me and says, "Do you have this kind of tequila?" and i said "I'm not sure, did you check on the liquor wall for it?"
(The liquor wall is literally ten feet in front of the lanes, by the way.) and she looks at me and says "No."
I'm a blank. I got nothing. I kind of look at the liquor wall helplessly, and then at the four people in my line, and i say "well I don't really know if we have it---"
and she interrupts me, saying " well could you maybe FIND someone who DOES?"
No bitch. No. I can't. Do you SEE THIS LINE!? DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE? CAN YOU NOT WALK TEN FUCKING FEET TO LOOK FOR YOURSELF!?
But thank god the manager walked by at that time so i threw her at him.
Seriously people. You have eyes. LOOK.
And yes, we did have the liquor. It was in a lime green box. cost her 50 bucks. Oh sophisticated marketplace shoppers.
NUMBER FOUR
You tell the me how much everything you bought is before i ring it up.
Yes, thank you, i can read. These confounded computers are actually good for something. RINGING UP ITEMS. It does, in fact, tell me how much everything is. Don't sit there and every time i pick up an item, say "oh that's 2 for 3. " "oh, that's 1.59/lb"
I know.
Thank you.
STOP IT! CHRIST ITS ANNOYING! I don't care if you phrase it as a question, such as 'that's on sale for such-such, right?" and i can say "yes" and move along! But don't sit there and tell me how much everything you bought is because I DON'T CARE! It's however much it rings up as! I'm not gonna take your damn word for it over the computer's so don't fucking argue with me!
NUMBER FIVE
My closed sign is up, and you come in my lane anyway.
I'm not kidding. I really am closed. Chances are you've caught me 5 minutes after i'm supposed to outta here and i'm trying to clean the belt and close my drawer out. In fact, i've probably already removed my drawer so i can specifically avoid ringing up anyone else. I can't help you. I don't really even want to help you. Go to the next lane that says OPEN. just because i'm at the lane doesn't mean i'm here to serve you. i'm CLOSED.
NUMBER SIX
You try to get in after we close.
his is most annoying on sundays because we close 2 hours earlier than normal. However, it states very clearly on the entrance doors that we close at EIGHT PM on sundays. It also might be obvious in that the entrance doors are locked. So what do you do? You come in through the exit.
WHO DOES THAT? C'MON! WHAT PART OF CLOSED DON'T YOU GET!?
You know what? come on in, because all the lanes are closed out anyway. There ain't no money in them. You could put 200 dollars worth of groceries in your cart if you want, but no ones gonna ring you up because the money is locked up in the cash office, counted and ready to go and we're LEAVING. We aren't going to help you after closing time, especially if you come in through the FUCKING EXIT!
NUMBER SEVEN
You don't put things back where you found them.
There's nothing more annoying than finding cheetos in the milk and milk in the broccoli. Just ask someone to put it back for you! I'd much rather you ask me to take whatever you don't want back to whatever aisle than find rotten meat in the stuffed animals again!
NUMBER EIGHT
You don't believe me when i say we don't have something.
Look, if i say we don't have buttermilk, we don't FUCKING have buttermilk! Who's the stocker here!? I spend six hours in the damn cooler, i know if we have buttermilk or not!
"Do you have buttermilk?"
"I'm sorry, we're all out of it today, we'll have an order in on tuesday"
"Could you check?"
What the fuck did i just say woman. I said tuesday. It's not tuesday. Come back on TUESDAY. Just because you want the buttermilk now doesn't mean its going to fall out of the sky for you and we aren't going to magically have a case in the cooler. I mean, if i say "i'm not sure" then of course i'll go look for it. Because hey, i'm not sure. but if i say 'no, we don't have it' i mean NO! Why would i purposely avoid a sale? Just believe me ok?
I'd also like to make note that any stocker who says we don't have something and its told to go check and goes to check, he's not checking. He probably just went to get a drink of water and then will come back and tell you the exact same thing.
NUMBER NINE
You wander into the back room (stock room, behind the big doors, whatever) looking for something.
GET OUT. this is NOT your shopping space!! This is MY area, not YOURS! I don't wanna be sitting in back, going through my stock bins, listening to my ipod, and have some random customer wandering on back looking for something! NO! JUST STOP!
This goes for the cooler as well. The cooler is loud, its hard to hear whats going on around you, and you really can't hear what's going out outside of it. There's nothing fucking scarier than to be stocking orange juice and looking over to see some fat ass for-all-i-know murderer staring at beer! THIS IS NOT A WALK IN COOLER! There are NO doors to the cooler the lead out to the sales floor! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET BACK HERE!? GET OUT!!!! if you want something, ASK!
And the NUMBER TEN reason you are a terrible customer is....
You complain to me about the price of something.
Yeah, because i totally priced everything in here to my own personal liking. YOU'RE the one that came to this place! You coulda gone to Meijer, or fucking walmart for all i care, but no, you had to come to the SOPHISTICATED marketplace!! So don't bitch at me when everything is a dollar more than anywhere else. it's not my fault, and i'm not going to mark it down for you.
Wow, that felt AWESOME. I really needed to get that out. And I hope this valuable information will turn you into the absolute best customer that you can be. I know that working at a grocery store has certainly transformed my etiquette towards those who serve me, and i hope it will yours too.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Have your pets spayed or neutered
i'm so sad that i'm about to watch Bob's last show. I'm taping it for freaking everyone else in this apartment because everyone's freaking out that it's Bob's last show.
(if you don't yet know what i'm talking about, if the subject didn't give this away and you still don't know what i'm talking about, get the fuck off my blog)
I love you bob, and i'll miss you!!
Goodbye Bob, and Goodbye everybody!
(if you don't yet know what i'm talking about, if the subject didn't give this away and you still don't know what i'm talking about, get the fuck off my blog)
I love you bob, and i'll miss you!!
Goodbye Bob, and Goodbye everybody!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Paris Hilton
Need I say more?
LOL.
So she'll have to live without drugs and promiscuous sex for awhile. She'll be fine.
LOL.
So she'll have to live without drugs and promiscuous sex for awhile. She'll be fine.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Yowza
(i like this picture a lot)Hey. Just thought i'd check in, letcha know whats new in life! I got my hands on a camera, which is super exciting. I took pictures of myself (obviously, duh) and the LAN party last night. seven guys staring at computers. Wow. Check it...
It looks like they've been sitting there for days.
So anyway. We go to CO 2 weeks from thursday, so that's exciting. Nice long road trip. Catch up on my reading.
Today was such a long day; i hate cashiering. I hate customers. Some people are unbelievably stupid. Sometimes i just want to be like, 'am i on punk'd or something? Candid Camera? Anything? are you SERIOUS?'
That's why i prefer stocking. I can completely ignore everyone. One more day and then i get a day off. WoOt!
I got my tax return the other day, 58 bucks bitch.
God, i have nothing to say, do i? I'm gonna go to dan's pool party now. Well, i won't be swimming. its fucking cold. But the hot tub, oh the hot tub.
Cheas.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
A Letter to The Consumerist.
Dear Consumerist:
My name is Mary and I would like to bring to your attention the utter ridiculousness that is Capital One. As we speak, my boyfriend Greg is, once again, on the phone with Capital One’s fraud department. This marks the fourteenth person and the tenth hour he’s spent with the great individuals of Capital One’s Customer Service department.
On February 8th, nearly four months ago, a charge appeared on his card of $100.00. The charge came out of a Sears, in the form of a gift card, in
(Currently, Greg is talking to the fifteenth person since this all began)
The following day, Greg attempted to use his card at Taco Bob’s, only to find that it had been suspended, without a single whiff of notification. Ok, he’s pretty pissed now. His account remained frozen for about a week, and Capital One claimed they were “looking into it.” We thought maybe, just maybe, they were doing something about it.
WRONG.
The account was reopened, and the charge was reapplied.
Greg is about to shit a brick (Sixteenth person, by the way).
Greg called Capital One, and asked them to send him the written disputed charge. They did so. Greg then sent Capital One a hand-written, signed letter including photocopies of his credit card and driver’s license. The letter explained as explicitly as humanly possible that the charge was not authorized by him and needed to be removed from his bill. He then proceeded to wait. And wait.
(Seventeenth person, and this one claims to be a supervisor)
After a week or so, Greg called Capital One and spent three useless hours with four useless people, being transferred back and forth over and over again. Finally, someone knew something! A lovely lady told him that there had been a “mass account compromise” AKA, tons of card numbers were lost and they couldn’t do shit about it. Of course, she added that the charge on Greg’s card had NOTHING to do with this, which we found extremely hard to believe since Greg’s card has never moved from his wallet. She told Greg that his card would be permanently deactivated, and they would send him another card in seven days. While Greg was about ready to tell Capital One to shove a stick up their ass, he accepted this.
Meanwhile, in another string of calls, including a deliberate disconnection and a man who said “call back in an hour” and hung up, Greg actually came across someone who seemed to give a shit about his situation. The man agreed that it was a fraudulent charge and told Greg that the charge would be removed from his bill within forty-eight hours.
Well guess what.
It wasn’t.
(on hold now, waiting for the eighteenth person to pick up the damn phone)
So Greg called back again, and was told that the charge was still under investigation, and that it would remain there until it was solved, but it would not affect his interest fees or anything like that.
(Person number eighteen has finally picked up)
So, life went on. Briefly. I’d like to make clear that during this time, Greg did not use his new credit card.
(He’s on hold again; he talked to person number eighteen for approximately twelve seconds)
He checked his online statement, and found, SURPRISE!, the $100.00 charge was STILL THERE. And with the added bonus of a $29 dollar late fee, and a $1.22 interest fee! That made it the third, count it, THIRD time the charge had been dropped and then added.
Greg immediately called them, and two and a half hours later, one of the idiot drones finally told him that the charge had been reapplied (without Greg’s consent, mind you) and therefore the late and interest fees were valid.
(Person nineteen, and we seemed to have moved backwards. This person has no FUCKING idea what Greg is talking about. We’re back to square one for the two- billionth time)
So they told Greg they would send him another fraud investigation letter thing within two weeks. Nothing came, but I’m sure you saw that coming.
That was exactly sixteen days ago. So now, here we are, on the phone. Again. It’s been an hour. Six people. Zero will help him. Even the supervisor (named Fernando, the only person who gave Greg his name) wouldn’t help him.
No one is willing to pay any attention to what Greg is trying to tell them. This was a fraudulent charge! The signature on the receipt from
No one knows what he’s talking about. No one cares what he’s talking about. Capital One has, hands down, proven to have the absolute worst customer service department in the history of the world. And for a card whose slogan is “The No Hassle Card”, they have done nothing but. I hope the Consumerist can warn its readers to avoid Capital One at all costs. Their idiotic system has been nothing but a money-hungry, robotic, muzak-brain-numbing bunch of outsourced morons. Fuck you Capital One, Fuck. You.
Sincerely,
Mary (writing for Greg, who is still on the phone with them)
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Do or Die
I was hoping this term wouldn't apply to us this year, but it does. Wings must do or die tonight. We've got to beat Anaheim tonight so we can force a game 7 and win that fucking thing too, if we expect to make it to the finals. Everyone pray!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
3am Epiphany
That is the title of the new book i just bought. I made the horrible mistake of going to Barnes&Noble today after Belle Tire fixed my car with the intent to "Just look". YEAH RIGHT. I of course purchased a book, and its actually pretty damn sweet.
It's a writing book. it's pretty much a book of different ideas/scenarios/exercises to better your writing. Here, for example:
"Write a fragment of a story about a villain who gets away with a serious and perhaps brutal crime and enjoys the fruits of his crime. Love this character an'd try to make him at least somewhat lovable to us. 600 words"
AWESOME! I can't freaking wait to write that!! so theres like 200 of these exercises plus chapters on critiquing and writers block and POV and all those other important things writers have to worry about.
It should be a fun book to have on our roadtrip to CO.
It's a writing book. it's pretty much a book of different ideas/scenarios/exercises to better your writing. Here, for example:
"Write a fragment of a story about a villain who gets away with a serious and perhaps brutal crime and enjoys the fruits of his crime. Love this character an'd try to make him at least somewhat lovable to us. 600 words"
AWESOME! I can't freaking wait to write that!! so theres like 200 of these exercises plus chapters on critiquing and writers block and POV and all those other important things writers have to worry about.
It should be a fun book to have on our roadtrip to CO.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Regarding Entertainment
Hockey:
Well Red Wings, you've proven yourselves to me once again. You had me worried there for awhile! So congratulations, and let's try to beat Anaheim with the least amount of hypertension-inducing drama.
LOST:
So they've set an end-date for lost. three more seasons, 16 eps each, slated to end 2010. Now is it just me, or would they be able to stuff that into two seasons? I mean, each one is going to run Feb-May, and that seems pretty short to me, with infinitely long breaks between. I think they should really be trying to wrap it up ASAP before more people lose interest. That like, four month hiatus they took this season was a really, really bad idea. I mean, they had to push back the freakin time slot so that they didn't go up against Criminal Minds, because unlike LOST's first two seasons, LOST was afraid that THEY would be beaten, not the other shows. Accordingly, the ratings have fallen, but it is still the most taped show, so take that however you want. They're also saying that someone major is going to kick the bucket pretty soon, hopefully its Kate. Man, wouldn't that be just so, so sad. I don't mind Jack so much now that he's barely been in it lately, but once they remember him, i'm sure i'll be ready for him to die as well.
House:
I hate to say this....but its getting kinda boring. Every week is apparently the "MOST SHOCKING EPISODE OF THE SEASON!!" but it really never is. It's like oh, its not lupus. Cool.
And could they possibly make Chase any more of a testicle-less whiny little sap? I mean, i never liked him that much to begin with, but the whole "Every tuesday i'm just going to tell Cameron that i like her" Deal? Seriously. I mean, i guess it's supposed to be cute, but with him it just comes off as pathetic. Who castrated him!? Don't you get it Chase? CAMERON. DOESN'T. LIKE. YOU. leave her ALONE! I mean, i've pretty much gathered that they're going to destroy my life by making her give into him, as well as probably hooking up House and Cuddy :Eye Roll: LAME! LAAAAAAMMEE! I mean, the only slightly remarkable think going on is that Foreman is apparently quitting. Like that's going to happen but at least its a storyline that doesn't make me want to throw up. Come on, this show is supposed to rock! House is the coolest character i've ever seen, but its getting old.
Nip/Tuck:
CAN IT BE TIME FOR THE NEXT SEASON PLEASE!? IT'S BEEN LIKE SIX MONTHS!
Heroes:
This show rocks my face off. 'Nuff said.
More thought-provoking....thoughts...later.
Well Red Wings, you've proven yourselves to me once again. You had me worried there for awhile! So congratulations, and let's try to beat Anaheim with the least amount of hypertension-inducing drama.
LOST:
So they've set an end-date for lost. three more seasons, 16 eps each, slated to end 2010. Now is it just me, or would they be able to stuff that into two seasons? I mean, each one is going to run Feb-May, and that seems pretty short to me, with infinitely long breaks between. I think they should really be trying to wrap it up ASAP before more people lose interest. That like, four month hiatus they took this season was a really, really bad idea. I mean, they had to push back the freakin time slot so that they didn't go up against Criminal Minds, because unlike LOST's first two seasons, LOST was afraid that THEY would be beaten, not the other shows. Accordingly, the ratings have fallen, but it is still the most taped show, so take that however you want. They're also saying that someone major is going to kick the bucket pretty soon, hopefully its Kate. Man, wouldn't that be just so, so sad. I don't mind Jack so much now that he's barely been in it lately, but once they remember him, i'm sure i'll be ready for him to die as well.
House:
I hate to say this....but its getting kinda boring. Every week is apparently the "MOST SHOCKING EPISODE OF THE SEASON!!" but it really never is. It's like oh, its not lupus. Cool.
And could they possibly make Chase any more of a testicle-less whiny little sap? I mean, i never liked him that much to begin with, but the whole "Every tuesday i'm just going to tell Cameron that i like her" Deal? Seriously. I mean, i guess it's supposed to be cute, but with him it just comes off as pathetic. Who castrated him!? Don't you get it Chase? CAMERON. DOESN'T. LIKE. YOU. leave her ALONE! I mean, i've pretty much gathered that they're going to destroy my life by making her give into him, as well as probably hooking up House and Cuddy :Eye Roll: LAME! LAAAAAAMMEE! I mean, the only slightly remarkable think going on is that Foreman is apparently quitting. Like that's going to happen but at least its a storyline that doesn't make me want to throw up. Come on, this show is supposed to rock! House is the coolest character i've ever seen, but its getting old.
Nip/Tuck:
CAN IT BE TIME FOR THE NEXT SEASON PLEASE!? IT'S BEEN LIKE SIX MONTHS!
Heroes:
This show rocks my face off. 'Nuff said.
More thought-provoking....thoughts...later.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Greg
This is one of my favorite pictures of Greg. Just thought i'd throw it up for the world to see XD XD XD!!
OOOOOOOO i need a dirty woman.
Just in case that doesn't ring any bells, i'm listening to Pink Floyd.
I just feel like babbling about nothing for awhile, as i am lacking in things to do. I'm waiting on some more hours at work, so until then i have like, three days off. What am i even supposed to do with three days off? I just watched three episodes of QAF in a row, but had to stop because at least one roommate will be home soon and the last thing he needs to walk in on is some guys doing the nasty as nastily as possible.
One of my most favorite things to do is sit and listen to music for extremely long periods of time. Just listen and listen and listen, except iTunes is a little retarded sometimes and will play the same thing over and over again -_- But then there are the occasional moments, such as this one right now, where it'll throw on ZZ Top's La Grange, which it hasn't played for me in weeks. You go, iTunes! This song really does it for me.
One of my favorite sayings regarding the war is "We're going to free the SHIT out of you." isn't that funny? I thought it was funny. I saw that a whole bunch of dudes came home yesterday, and lets hope they stay here.
So Sug and i are going to Colorado with his parents and sister for his brother's wedding in June, and we just found out we're driving. Not that i've never been on a road trip before; I've been to Florida about 10 times and only flown twice, but it just takes a lot of preparation. Such as holding off on reading anything, writing anything, doing anything that can be done while sitting, so that you can do it in the 17 hours you'll be stuck in the car. I've made a list of books i've intended to read and will probably pluck from the library, and i need to start thinking up story plots i can consider. You never really realize how long 17-20 hours is until you're in the like, 6th hour and your eyes are starting to blur because you've been reading for so long. And, joy of joys, we get to go through Nebraska. Which is about as exciting as a pap smear, except less invasive. It's JUST that awesome. I mean, the least the Nebraskans could do is put up pretty flags or roadside performers along their hundreds of miles of corn fields.
I like this song. Evan's Blue "The Promise and the Threat"
You know what is really cool, that i never really thought of as that cool? I planted an amyrillis (is that spelled right, cause i can't get spellcheck to acknowledge it) and its growing. I can tell! it's like an inch taller than it was when i stuck it in the pot! It's very exciting for me!
Do you have any idea what just came on my iTunes? NSYNC. that's right. I LOVE THIS MACHINE!
I fucking loved nsync. Loved them. Loved them like candy. I have all their albums. Seriously, not joking. I know every song. I even have the albums from Europe. NOT KIDDING!!!! It's disgusting, isn't it! But i am not ashamed. Sug just walked in the door, and he's looking at me like i should be ashamed, but i am not! I am PROUD! Know why theyre called NSYNC?
justiN chriS joeY lanceteN, jC.
HAHAHAHA
I rock so hard.
I just feel like babbling about nothing for awhile, as i am lacking in things to do. I'm waiting on some more hours at work, so until then i have like, three days off. What am i even supposed to do with three days off? I just watched three episodes of QAF in a row, but had to stop because at least one roommate will be home soon and the last thing he needs to walk in on is some guys doing the nasty as nastily as possible.
One of my most favorite things to do is sit and listen to music for extremely long periods of time. Just listen and listen and listen, except iTunes is a little retarded sometimes and will play the same thing over and over again -_- But then there are the occasional moments, such as this one right now, where it'll throw on ZZ Top's La Grange, which it hasn't played for me in weeks. You go, iTunes! This song really does it for me.
One of my favorite sayings regarding the war is "We're going to free the SHIT out of you." isn't that funny? I thought it was funny. I saw that a whole bunch of dudes came home yesterday, and lets hope they stay here.
So Sug and i are going to Colorado with his parents and sister for his brother's wedding in June, and we just found out we're driving. Not that i've never been on a road trip before; I've been to Florida about 10 times and only flown twice, but it just takes a lot of preparation. Such as holding off on reading anything, writing anything, doing anything that can be done while sitting, so that you can do it in the 17 hours you'll be stuck in the car. I've made a list of books i've intended to read and will probably pluck from the library, and i need to start thinking up story plots i can consider. You never really realize how long 17-20 hours is until you're in the like, 6th hour and your eyes are starting to blur because you've been reading for so long. And, joy of joys, we get to go through Nebraska. Which is about as exciting as a pap smear, except less invasive. It's JUST that awesome. I mean, the least the Nebraskans could do is put up pretty flags or roadside performers along their hundreds of miles of corn fields.
I like this song. Evan's Blue "The Promise and the Threat"
You know what is really cool, that i never really thought of as that cool? I planted an amyrillis (is that spelled right, cause i can't get spellcheck to acknowledge it) and its growing. I can tell! it's like an inch taller than it was when i stuck it in the pot! It's very exciting for me!
Do you have any idea what just came on my iTunes? NSYNC. that's right. I LOVE THIS MACHINE!
I fucking loved nsync. Loved them. Loved them like candy. I have all their albums. Seriously, not joking. I know every song. I even have the albums from Europe. NOT KIDDING!!!! It's disgusting, isn't it! But i am not ashamed. Sug just walked in the door, and he's looking at me like i should be ashamed, but i am not! I am PROUD! Know why theyre called NSYNC?
justiN chriS joeY lanceteN, jC.
HAHAHAHA
I rock so hard.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Maybe We Should Try...Winning
I am concerned for my Red Wings. So many things went wrong last night.
A. We lost
B. At home
C. 2-0
D. That's right,
E. Shut out,
F. Against a #5 team,
G. And we're #1
H. Not even cool
We're playing the sharks and while i had my concerns; i was pretty sure we'd go to 6 games or maybe even 7, but i was also expecting us to play hockey last night as opposed to the skate-around-not-sure-what-exactly-is-happening game.
We didn't play well, and the sharks played great.
We're also really hurting because we lost Holmstrom for a few games. He's just one of those guys who is constantly screening the goalie in a really obnoxious assholey way, but we've come to depend on that, and no one wants to screen the goalie that way, because no one has balls as big as Holmy's.
Just wanted to bitch about that.
We should try winning tomorrow afternoon.
Or at least playing the game.
A. We lost
B. At home
C. 2-0
D. That's right,
E. Shut out,
F. Against a #5 team,
G. And we're #1
H. Not even cool
We're playing the sharks and while i had my concerns; i was pretty sure we'd go to 6 games or maybe even 7, but i was also expecting us to play hockey last night as opposed to the skate-around-not-sure-what-exactly-is-happening game.
We didn't play well, and the sharks played great.
We're also really hurting because we lost Holmstrom for a few games. He's just one of those guys who is constantly screening the goalie in a really obnoxious assholey way, but we've come to depend on that, and no one wants to screen the goalie that way, because no one has balls as big as Holmy's.
Just wanted to bitch about that.
We should try winning tomorrow afternoon.
Or at least playing the game.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Why I like Boy Love (and other musings)
So one of my professors raised an interesting point. Apparently I like boy-on-boy action. Apparently he is also the only professor to have the balls to mention it XD. It's not new. Creative Writing, English, any classes that involve writing, i make sure to include a fic involving gay attraction. So whats with that?
When i thought about this as i got into my car today after i got my paper back, the first thing that came to mind is "I guess i like to make people squirm"
And i suppose that much is true.
I like to write love stories about love that is not "traditional". Traditional love stories are great and all, but they are so...tedious. Anyone can write a love story, boy meets girl, blah blah blah, whatever. Sometimes i like to raise the bar a little and write stories about two boys, or two girls, or interracial, or someone much older. That's probably why my paper for HUM203 does not have any love in the 'traditional' sense. We have a stalker love song, brokeback mountain, a teacher-student love affair, and a short story involving a gay character.
What is it with me and gay guys, you ask?
Well, i suppose it all started quite a few years ago when a little show entitled Queer As Folk made its debut on showtime. My friend Brittany (who amazingly enough was struggling with her sexuality and soon after came out as a lesbian--the show actually helped her get the courage to face her orientation) and i rented the first season one night on a whim, and watched all like, 22 episodes in one very long night. And let me tell you, that show CHANGED MY LIFE. I don't care that it was fiction, those characters became my best friends. It was so real, so groundbreaking, so unseen! Brian, Michael, Justin, Ted, and Emmett, gay best friends, all searching for love. Except Brian. Brian, the no-apologies, selfish arrogant prick who fucks everything that moves, immediately becomes the object of 17-year-old Justin's affections. They eventually fall in love, (well, justin was in love with him right off the bat, it took Brian awhile) and it was honestly one of the most romantic, compelling relationships i have seen on TV. It was portrayed so beautifully, and every episode, i mean EVERY episode left you staring at the credits until they finished rolling. Kind of like really good movies where you can't pull yourself away? Same with QAF. It is my absolute most favorite show and is definitely the most breath-taking series i've ever witnessed. For five seasons i lived for that damn series, until the finale and i was depressed for about a month. It was so sad, knowing i'd no longer get to peak into their lives for an hour and a half every sunday night! While it might be sad that a show can do that to you, it is also true and i am not embarrassed about it. It could be worse, i could be in love with Dancing with the Stars, or something.
Anyway, so i guess that's my story. I was so inspired by the relationships on Queer as Folk, the shit they endured and the balls they all had, that i began to find difficult, untraditional love more compelling than the average relationship. There was something very unapologetic, very raw about QAF, and it has stuck with me ever since.
If it evens me out at all, i'm a huge house/cameron shipper, and they're man and woman XD
I also cheer whenever Colleen and her professor make out. See, i like straight couples.
But even the straight couples are fucked up!
House is a grouchy old bastard and Cameron was once a sweet doe-eyed puppy-lover and is slowly turning into a hardened sarcasm-whore due to the fact that house won't love her (this is just what I take away from her turning into a freak). So theyre fucked up, and i mean, who even needs the story between 20-year-old Col and Professor Adrian Korbel, art historian. Who cares, he's Israeli and approachable-y hot. And he says words like "articulate" and "inconspicuous" and other words that are generally too large for the soap-opera population to pronounce.
I guess i just like difficult/untraditional/fucked up relationships.
I'm glad mine's pretty damn normal.
When i thought about this as i got into my car today after i got my paper back, the first thing that came to mind is "I guess i like to make people squirm"
And i suppose that much is true.
I like to write love stories about love that is not "traditional". Traditional love stories are great and all, but they are so...tedious. Anyone can write a love story, boy meets girl, blah blah blah, whatever. Sometimes i like to raise the bar a little and write stories about two boys, or two girls, or interracial, or someone much older. That's probably why my paper for HUM203 does not have any love in the 'traditional' sense. We have a stalker love song, brokeback mountain, a teacher-student love affair, and a short story involving a gay character.
What is it with me and gay guys, you ask?
Well, i suppose it all started quite a few years ago when a little show entitled Queer As Folk made its debut on showtime. My friend Brittany (who amazingly enough was struggling with her sexuality and soon after came out as a lesbian--the show actually helped her get the courage to face her orientation) and i rented the first season one night on a whim, and watched all like, 22 episodes in one very long night. And let me tell you, that show CHANGED MY LIFE. I don't care that it was fiction, those characters became my best friends. It was so real, so groundbreaking, so unseen! Brian, Michael, Justin, Ted, and Emmett, gay best friends, all searching for love. Except Brian. Brian, the no-apologies, selfish arrogant prick who fucks everything that moves, immediately becomes the object of 17-year-old Justin's affections. They eventually fall in love, (well, justin was in love with him right off the bat, it took Brian awhile) and it was honestly one of the most romantic, compelling relationships i have seen on TV. It was portrayed so beautifully, and every episode, i mean EVERY episode left you staring at the credits until they finished rolling. Kind of like really good movies where you can't pull yourself away? Same with QAF. It is my absolute most favorite show and is definitely the most breath-taking series i've ever witnessed. For five seasons i lived for that damn series, until the finale and i was depressed for about a month. It was so sad, knowing i'd no longer get to peak into their lives for an hour and a half every sunday night! While it might be sad that a show can do that to you, it is also true and i am not embarrassed about it. It could be worse, i could be in love with Dancing with the Stars, or something.
Anyway, so i guess that's my story. I was so inspired by the relationships on Queer as Folk, the shit they endured and the balls they all had, that i began to find difficult, untraditional love more compelling than the average relationship. There was something very unapologetic, very raw about QAF, and it has stuck with me ever since.
If it evens me out at all, i'm a huge house/cameron shipper, and they're man and woman XD
I also cheer whenever Colleen and her professor make out. See, i like straight couples.
But even the straight couples are fucked up!
House is a grouchy old bastard and Cameron was once a sweet doe-eyed puppy-lover and is slowly turning into a hardened sarcasm-whore due to the fact that house won't love her (this is just what I take away from her turning into a freak). So theyre fucked up, and i mean, who even needs the story between 20-year-old Col and Professor Adrian Korbel, art historian. Who cares, he's Israeli and approachable-y hot. And he says words like "articulate" and "inconspicuous" and other words that are generally too large for the soap-opera population to pronounce.
I guess i just like difficult/untraditional/fucked up relationships.
I'm glad mine's pretty damn normal.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Cigarette.
Let me get this straight.
So smoking causes lung cancer, emphysema, the distinct smell of ass, and death, among other things.
We're...pretty well aware of this, yes?
So why, WHY DO TEENAGERS THINK THEYRE SO DAMN AWESOME WHEN THEY SMOKE?
would someone please explain this to me?
And would someone please explain why italics won't turn off?
So GODDAMIT ITALICS! THERE WE GO! JESUS!
.
I just don't get why people, especially teenagers and kids my age, smoke! I mean if anything, it should be about vanity! Who wants to stink!?
Seriously!!
No one wants to stink! But apparently smoking is more important than not smelling like a dumpster whore!! I mean, i have to take showers after going to main street cause i can't stand the smell of cigarettes on my skin! It's DISGUSTING!! it is probably the most unattractive thing i can think of. Immediate turn off. I could see the fucking hottest guy in the history of the planet and if i saw that he smoked, i'd rather do Dan Rather. Unless he smokes too.
It's just so effin nasty!!
Would someone PLEASE explain this to me!
I just fucking hate listening to people carry on and on and on about smoking. Why would you talk about smoking!? Why discuss it? What is there to discuss? i mean, what kind of conversation starter is "so i just smoked an entire pack, wow"? what am i supposed to say? "Congratulations on shortening your life another 5 years!"?!??!
Cigarettes.
Gross.
fucking GROSS.
I really, really don't get it. And in all honesty, i don't really want to.
So smoking causes lung cancer, emphysema, the distinct smell of ass, and death, among other things.
We're...pretty well aware of this, yes?
So why, WHY DO TEENAGERS THINK THEYRE SO DAMN AWESOME WHEN THEY SMOKE?
would someone please explain this to me?
And would someone please explain why italics won't turn off?
So GODDAMIT ITALICS! THERE WE GO! JESUS!
.
I just don't get why people, especially teenagers and kids my age, smoke! I mean if anything, it should be about vanity! Who wants to stink!?
Seriously!!
No one wants to stink! But apparently smoking is more important than not smelling like a dumpster whore!! I mean, i have to take showers after going to main street cause i can't stand the smell of cigarettes on my skin! It's DISGUSTING!! it is probably the most unattractive thing i can think of. Immediate turn off. I could see the fucking hottest guy in the history of the planet and if i saw that he smoked, i'd rather do Dan Rather. Unless he smokes too.
It's just so effin nasty!!
Would someone PLEASE explain this to me!
I just fucking hate listening to people carry on and on and on about smoking. Why would you talk about smoking!? Why discuss it? What is there to discuss? i mean, what kind of conversation starter is "so i just smoked an entire pack, wow"? what am i supposed to say? "Congratulations on shortening your life another 5 years!"?!??!
Cigarettes.
Gross.
fucking GROSS.
I really, really don't get it. And in all honesty, i don't really want to.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
COM-PLE-TED!!!
it is done, so i will celebrate with FUN FONT!!!!
Actually its just courier new. but its NEW!! and FUN!!
Yes. So LLWII is finished. I am very excited about this amazing feat, and i hope that you are too! This means that i can A. go back to working on psychoville, or B. come up with a new story! How exciting! I love to write! yaay yaaaay yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!
Know what else is awesome? School is almost done! I don't have to take any exams! I am THAT FUCKING COOL! All i have this week is that stupid dreaded goddamn presentation for psych, and hopefully i can get through that without ending that stupid bitch's life!!
Now, i don't know if i'm just some goody-two shoes overachiever, but i tend to enjoy getting good grades. I enjoy using my brain. Exercising it, if you will. Basically, i don't have a problem with THINKING.
Apparently some people do.
Let me tell you something i absolutely hate. I hate being graded as a group on group projects. There is always that ONE person who does NOTHING and the rest of us either A. fail because of her or B. she passes because of us. Neither is acceptable. We should pass, she should fail. But it doesn't work that way. That is why we have to physically meet with our teacher on tuesday to request that she get NOTHING due to the NOTHINGNESS she contributed to our fucking project!!! In fact, nothing would have been better than what she did! see, she PRETENDED to do something, but in actually, DIDN'T!!!
AAAHGHGHAAAAAAALWLWWWAAAA. What do we even do about this!? Half of our paper is missing because of her! GODDAMMIT!!! I hate to go to our teacher with this like some 3rd graders tattling, but for fuckssake what are we supposed to do? We can't just make up 50 survey responses, and we especially can't do it in like 3 days! God i can't wait for this fucking thing to be over so i can kick her in the face.
Back to hockey!
Actually its just courier new. but its NEW!! and FUN!!
Yes. So LLWII is finished. I am very excited about this amazing feat, and i hope that you are too! This means that i can A. go back to working on psychoville, or B. come up with a new story! How exciting! I love to write! yaay yaaaay yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!
Know what else is awesome? School is almost done! I don't have to take any exams! I am THAT FUCKING COOL! All i have this week is that stupid dreaded goddamn presentation for psych, and hopefully i can get through that without ending that stupid bitch's life!!
Now, i don't know if i'm just some goody-two shoes overachiever, but i tend to enjoy getting good grades. I enjoy using my brain. Exercising it, if you will. Basically, i don't have a problem with THINKING.
Apparently some people do.
Let me tell you something i absolutely hate. I hate being graded as a group on group projects. There is always that ONE person who does NOTHING and the rest of us either A. fail because of her or B. she passes because of us. Neither is acceptable. We should pass, she should fail. But it doesn't work that way. That is why we have to physically meet with our teacher on tuesday to request that she get NOTHING due to the NOTHINGNESS she contributed to our fucking project!!! In fact, nothing would have been better than what she did! see, she PRETENDED to do something, but in actually, DIDN'T!!!
AAAHGHGHAAAAAAALWLWWWAAAA. What do we even do about this!? Half of our paper is missing because of her! GODDAMMIT!!! I hate to go to our teacher with this like some 3rd graders tattling, but for fuckssake what are we supposed to do? We can't just make up 50 survey responses, and we especially can't do it in like 3 days! God i can't wait for this fucking thing to be over so i can kick her in the face.
Back to hockey!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
ALMOST DONE!
I'M ALMOST FINISHED WITH LLW 2!!! This story has taken me entirely too long!!! stupid school!! That's almost done too, thankfully. Then i'll have time to do whats important in life, and thats WRITING!!
Let me tell you something, writing a heroin OD is extremely difficult. Writing about the collapsed veins and the reddened arms and shortness of breath until the eventual unconsciousness is really hard. It takes a lot out of you, emotionally. I mean, i've never done heroin, and i doubt i'd even know heroin if i saw it. But still, the pain my character was going through...MAN! it took me for-fucking-ever, and i didn't even pay attention to LOST last night. But now that thats over, he's in the hospital and he's going to be ok. Phew!
Some of you may be wondering why i am relieved that my own character lived through his ordeal that I made happen. Sometimes even the writer doesn't know how something will turn out until her hands tell her so! I didn't know if he was going to live or die up until the last moment, where his eyes were wide open, unblinking, staring straight above. Painful.
Here. try this on for size...
Heavy.
Let me tell you something, writing a heroin OD is extremely difficult. Writing about the collapsed veins and the reddened arms and shortness of breath until the eventual unconsciousness is really hard. It takes a lot out of you, emotionally. I mean, i've never done heroin, and i doubt i'd even know heroin if i saw it. But still, the pain my character was going through...MAN! it took me for-fucking-ever, and i didn't even pay attention to LOST last night. But now that thats over, he's in the hospital and he's going to be ok. Phew!
Some of you may be wondering why i am relieved that my own character lived through his ordeal that I made happen. Sometimes even the writer doesn't know how something will turn out until her hands tell her so! I didn't know if he was going to live or die up until the last moment, where his eyes were wide open, unblinking, staring straight above. Painful.
Here. try this on for size...
Ville had no idea how much time had passed but it was long enough for him to count one thousand breaths, each becoming more and more short and labored.
Could he have possibly….
Taken too….
Ville coughed hard, lurching forward and losing his balance, falling to the floor. He caught himself on his hands and knees, coughing more and dropped onto his side, groaning as the cold, hard cement floor met with his trembling body. He cradled his head in his hands, covering his eyes as everything began to spin uncontrollably, making him want to throw up. He curled his legs up to his chest and gasped for breath, his stomach seemingly clenching all his organs into a tight ball in his abdomen. His throat tightened. He rolled onto his back and dropped his palms from his eyes, staring wide eyed at the ceiling swirling and spinning above him. His chest rose and fell in quick, harsh movements, hands scratching at the cement below him. Nails broke and fingers bled, but he felt nothing but his heart and its shallow beats. He hitched one more ragged breath before he fell unconscious, eyes locked in a frozen stare to heaven.
Heavy.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
VA Tech
I simply cannot believe what happened at VA Tech yesterday. I just can't believe it. I don't understand how this could have possibly taken place! I do not understand how someone could have been shot in a dorm two hours prior to the massacre, and yet no one seemed to know about the first shooting. Why was campus not locked down? Why were students allowed to leave their rooms? The absolute minute police learned that a student had been killed by an unknown assailant, campus should have been shut down completely. If someone is murdered in a dormitory, and you can't find the guy that did it, i would THINK that MAYBE they'd act a little FASTER than an EMAIL.
Unfortunately, that is not the way events played out, and 30+ people ended up dead. How does something like this happen!? And a better question, how does someone DO THAT!? What could have possibly been going through this young man's mind when he open fired on a fucking classroom? And why did he turn the gun on himself? Was it a planned murder-suicide deal, did he not want to face the repercussions of his actions? Or did he go through some blind rage, only to come out of it and realize he'd taken dozens of lives, and ended his own in a fatal attempt of apology?
How is it, that after all the rules and regulations and claims of 'gun control', that a student can get ahold of 2 9mm handguns and just...SHOOT EVERYONE!?
I heard about this when i got home from work yesterday around noon. They knew nothing! All the newscasters could tell us is that at least 20 people had been shot and killed at VA Tech. The number kept rising. All they knew was people were shot to death. I never, EVER want to be in a situation like that, where i've got no fucking idea what is happening, and all i know is people are dying. I cannot even begin to fathom how terrifying that had to be for students on that campus. To hear gunshots and have to climb under your desk, wondering if you should be reflecting back on your young life, and probably are even if you don't mean to. The eternal optimist would be doing the exact same thing; i would be doing the exact same thing. Wondering why this was happening and why NO ONE WAS STOPPING IT.
It's absolutely horrifying, and i'm wrecked just thinking about it.
Unfortunately, that is not the way events played out, and 30+ people ended up dead. How does something like this happen!? And a better question, how does someone DO THAT!? What could have possibly been going through this young man's mind when he open fired on a fucking classroom? And why did he turn the gun on himself? Was it a planned murder-suicide deal, did he not want to face the repercussions of his actions? Or did he go through some blind rage, only to come out of it and realize he'd taken dozens of lives, and ended his own in a fatal attempt of apology?
How is it, that after all the rules and regulations and claims of 'gun control', that a student can get ahold of 2 9mm handguns and just...SHOOT EVERYONE!?
I heard about this when i got home from work yesterday around noon. They knew nothing! All the newscasters could tell us is that at least 20 people had been shot and killed at VA Tech. The number kept rising. All they knew was people were shot to death. I never, EVER want to be in a situation like that, where i've got no fucking idea what is happening, and all i know is people are dying. I cannot even begin to fathom how terrifying that had to be for students on that campus. To hear gunshots and have to climb under your desk, wondering if you should be reflecting back on your young life, and probably are even if you don't mean to. The eternal optimist would be doing the exact same thing; i would be doing the exact same thing. Wondering why this was happening and why NO ONE WAS STOPPING IT.
It's absolutely horrifying, and i'm wrecked just thinking about it.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
I'm Poor but I Still Smile
There are a lot of things that I would like to do, but can't, due to being poor. I work two jobs. I make 7.50 at one and 7.05 at the other. I pay for my own rent, tuition, groceries, bills, what have you. And yet, people still get on my case about why I've chosen not to transfer to a four year college. I am so Goddamn sick of everyone looking down upon me because after this semester, I'm only going to work. It's not that I never plan on going back to school again, it's just that right now I'm too broke. I am one of the oh, three or four people in the world who has to pay for college the old fashioned way-- with money. I'm the only person in my house who has to pay for school. Greg's parents pay for his. Dan's got a full ride. Jared has financial aid.
My parents do not pay for my college, nor did I ever expect them to. My mom bought my books for my first two semesters but since then I've taken over. It really isn't their job to make sure I get to college; however, if they aren't going to pay, they can get off my goddamn back about how i've decided not to go anymore for now.
As for a full ride, yeah right. My brain isn't the size of an industrial computer.
As for financial aid, yeah. I fucking hate financial aid. It is evil. I am still considered a dependent on my parents, just because I only just moved out in October. However, I've needed financial aid since my friggin freshman year, but they won't give it to me on account of my parents make 100,000+ a year. In case you're as rigoddamndiculously stupid as the gov't, I said my PARENTS make that much. I, on the other hand, make like 6 dollars/year. So the gov't concludes that because my parents make money, I don't need any. My parents don't pay for anything dammit! I pay for it all! Why does financial aid just assume that my parents will just give me money out of the goodness of their hearts? We work for what we want in my family, and college has been clearly stated to be something we are to pay for ourselves.
I just wish that my mom would fuckin relax though. She's all freaked out because I'm not majoring in anything because there's nothing at valley i'm remotely interested in. I'm not going to go to Western and spend 20 million dollars a semester only to decide, oh, i don't want to major in this either. I don't like to waste money like that. I don't have money to waste like that.
I've decided that the best thing for me to do right now is work. I need to work to keep up with my rent and all that junk, and not paying tuition would be beautiful, because I need to tack on medical insurance to my already long list of bills. I'd rather keep up with my rent than go live back home, because I don't exactly want to go back to 'dating' Greg. It'd be way too weird. It'd be like
"hey, what do you want to do tonight"
"remember when we used to share a bed?"
Exactly.
And honestly, the defining reason is that the thought of me not going to school doesn't shatter me. it actually makes me kind of happy. Until i figure out what i want to major in, i don't want to waste my time.
Contrary to popular belief, i like my jobs. I like working at Hardings, and i like working at waldenbooks. I love my coworkers, they're all my friends now. I like leaving work at work. I like completely forgetting about it until the next morning. I think i'd rather kill myself than work in a high-stress job. People think my job isn't important? Yeah well, you want food, don't you? Cause i could go ahead and not do my job, and you could go ahead and starve.
So i'm poor but i still smile. I don't have all the money in the world, but i have a fantastic love and a stress-free, physical job. I keep in shape and i eat healthy because i can't afford fast food. I keep strict tabs on my budget and I carefully examine everything i plan to buy. Yeah, it can be annoying sometimes, but at least i'm not ending up with a bunch of shit i don't need. It's amazing what we don't need. You'd be surprised how little we actually have to have. I'm so poor. But you know whats cool? I'm so happy. You should try being a hippie too.
It's great to get over the so-called importance of go-to-college-get-a-degree-find-some-job-go-and-die.
I mean, i'm sure that someday i'll do all those things.
Just not in that order.
My parents do not pay for my college, nor did I ever expect them to. My mom bought my books for my first two semesters but since then I've taken over. It really isn't their job to make sure I get to college; however, if they aren't going to pay, they can get off my goddamn back about how i've decided not to go anymore for now.
As for a full ride, yeah right. My brain isn't the size of an industrial computer.
As for financial aid, yeah. I fucking hate financial aid. It is evil. I am still considered a dependent on my parents, just because I only just moved out in October. However, I've needed financial aid since my friggin freshman year, but they won't give it to me on account of my parents make 100,000+ a year. In case you're as rigoddamndiculously stupid as the gov't, I said my PARENTS make that much. I, on the other hand, make like 6 dollars/year. So the gov't concludes that because my parents make money, I don't need any. My parents don't pay for anything dammit! I pay for it all! Why does financial aid just assume that my parents will just give me money out of the goodness of their hearts? We work for what we want in my family, and college has been clearly stated to be something we are to pay for ourselves.
I just wish that my mom would fuckin relax though. She's all freaked out because I'm not majoring in anything because there's nothing at valley i'm remotely interested in. I'm not going to go to Western and spend 20 million dollars a semester only to decide, oh, i don't want to major in this either. I don't like to waste money like that. I don't have money to waste like that.
I've decided that the best thing for me to do right now is work. I need to work to keep up with my rent and all that junk, and not paying tuition would be beautiful, because I need to tack on medical insurance to my already long list of bills. I'd rather keep up with my rent than go live back home, because I don't exactly want to go back to 'dating' Greg. It'd be way too weird. It'd be like
"hey, what do you want to do tonight"
"remember when we used to share a bed?"
Exactly.
And honestly, the defining reason is that the thought of me not going to school doesn't shatter me. it actually makes me kind of happy. Until i figure out what i want to major in, i don't want to waste my time.
Contrary to popular belief, i like my jobs. I like working at Hardings, and i like working at waldenbooks. I love my coworkers, they're all my friends now. I like leaving work at work. I like completely forgetting about it until the next morning. I think i'd rather kill myself than work in a high-stress job. People think my job isn't important? Yeah well, you want food, don't you? Cause i could go ahead and not do my job, and you could go ahead and starve.
So i'm poor but i still smile. I don't have all the money in the world, but i have a fantastic love and a stress-free, physical job. I keep in shape and i eat healthy because i can't afford fast food. I keep strict tabs on my budget and I carefully examine everything i plan to buy. Yeah, it can be annoying sometimes, but at least i'm not ending up with a bunch of shit i don't need. It's amazing what we don't need. You'd be surprised how little we actually have to have. I'm so poor. But you know whats cool? I'm so happy. You should try being a hippie too.
It's great to get over the so-called importance of go-to-college-get-a-degree-find-some-job-go-and-die.
I mean, i'm sure that someday i'll do all those things.
Just not in that order.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
These are my favorite Beatles songs
In no particular order.
I Am The Walrus
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Norwegian Wood
Here Comes the Sun
Day Tripper
Let It Be
Magical Mystery Tour
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Day In the Life
Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da
Back in the USSR
Blackbird
Helter Skelter
Lady Madonna
Eleanor Rigby
Strawberry Fields Forever
Octopus's Garden
Good Day Sunshine
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
The Long and Winding Road
And now i've got to run. If i've forgotten any of your favorites, please share them with me now.
I Am The Walrus
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Norwegian Wood
Here Comes the Sun
Day Tripper
Let It Be
Magical Mystery Tour
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Day In the Life
Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da
Back in the USSR
Blackbird
Helter Skelter
Lady Madonna
Eleanor Rigby
Strawberry Fields Forever
Octopus's Garden
Good Day Sunshine
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
The Long and Winding Road
And now i've got to run. If i've forgotten any of your favorites, please share them with me now.
Monday, March 5, 2007
I Like Rene Magritte
I've come to the conclusion that Rene Magritte is my favorite artist. I mean, i guess i never really thought about it much but i was just reviewing some of his work a bit ago, and man, i fucking love surrealism. I just wanted to share some paintings with you.
http://www.cultkanaal.nl/Kunst/magritte1959.jpg
This is my favorite. it just strikes me.
Here are some others....
http://www.fantasyarts.net/Magritte/red_model_small.jpg
http://www.schaefer-westerhofen.de/Eva/magritte2.jpg
http://www.cultkanaal.nl/Kunst/magritte1945.jpg
http://sfmoma.org/images/ma/exhib_detail/magritte_la_chambre.gif
http://www.ac-amiens.fr/pedagogie/arts_plastiques/capes04/magritte2.jpg
i hope you enjoyed your brief lesson in surrealism.
http://www.cultkanaal.nl/Kunst/magritte1959.jpg
This is my favorite. it just strikes me.
Here are some others....
http://www.fantasyarts.net/Magritte/red_model_small.jpg
http://www.schaefer-westerhofen.de/Eva/magritte2.jpg
http://www.cultkanaal.nl/Kunst/magritte1945.jpg
http://sfmoma.org/images/ma/exhib_detail/magritte_la_chambre.gif
http://www.ac-amiens.fr/pedagogie/arts_plastiques/capes04/magritte2.jpg
i hope you enjoyed your brief lesson in surrealism.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
I Smell Like a Wet Dog
It's true. It's raining out, and it's really just quite unpleasant. So i get to sit here in the computer lab, smelling weird, waiting for my next class to start so I can further spread my strange smell to others.
Have you ever considered that it might be possible that you are the only person on earth with a brain?
I have.
But moving on.
I can't write. I'm flipping out, because i promised i'd have a new story coming, and i just can't pull it out of my ass. I've written 12 pages and I still don't have enough to make a semi-comprehensible chapter. And i certainly can't just give one chapter and then not update for like 3 months because at this rate, that is how long its going to take me to shit out another page. I just don't have time! Even on spring break i got too much shit to do. maybe i can manage a page. Maybe i can manage to know what i'm doing, since i don't even have that. I'm just having trouble making people wary of this character. I think i'm on the right track, but i don't him to obviously be a psycho murderer. Whatever. Not even saying anything.
I love America's Next Top Model, how sick is that? Like disease sick, not awesome sick, because it is kind of embarrassing. Almost more embarrassing than me watching The Young and the Restless, which, by the way, HOWTHEFUCKINGFUCKISCARMENSTILLALIVEIFJANAFUCKING
KILLEDHER!?!?!?!?WHATISGOINGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck deciphering that.
I'll be back when i have something worthwhile to note.
Have you ever considered that it might be possible that you are the only person on earth with a brain?
I have.
But moving on.
I can't write. I'm flipping out, because i promised i'd have a new story coming, and i just can't pull it out of my ass. I've written 12 pages and I still don't have enough to make a semi-comprehensible chapter. And i certainly can't just give one chapter and then not update for like 3 months because at this rate, that is how long its going to take me to shit out another page. I just don't have time! Even on spring break i got too much shit to do. maybe i can manage a page. Maybe i can manage to know what i'm doing, since i don't even have that. I'm just having trouble making people wary of this character. I think i'm on the right track, but i don't him to obviously be a psycho murderer. Whatever. Not even saying anything.
I love America's Next Top Model, how sick is that? Like disease sick, not awesome sick, because it is kind of embarrassing. Almost more embarrassing than me watching The Young and the Restless, which, by the way, HOWTHEFUCKINGFUCKISCARMENSTILLALIVEIFJANAFUCKING
KILLEDHER!?!?!?!?WHATISGOINGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck deciphering that.
I'll be back when i have something worthwhile to note.
I Love the Beatles, Oh Yes its True
Some of you may be wondering (or maybe not) why I love the Beatles. In fact, i'm sure many of you didn't even realize i actually like the Beatles. WELL NOW YOU KNOW!! And we were talking about them extensively in my History of Rock and Roll class tonight. So I went over the major reasons why they are important to me.
The thing that impresses me most was their incredible growth throughout their career. What sort of band can start with a song like "Love Me Do" and end with "The Long and Winding Road"? I mean, the progression is unbelieveable. Compare "Meet the Beatles" with "Sgt. Pepper's" IS THIS EVEN THE SAME BAND!?
I don't even care that they had to drop some acid in order for many of their songs to even happen. I'm glad they dropped acid! They needed to do acid! Drugs did outstanding things for them! Props to Bob Dylan for opening their eyes to weed.
I also cannot believe what a dramatically changing fanbase they had throughout their career and now. When they first arrived on the scene, it was screaming teeneyboppers, and when they ended, they were more of a man's group. One spectrum to the other. just SWOOSH ok we're done singing love me do, on to I am the Walrus bitches!!
In 1964, Hit Parade's top 5 songs were all beatles songs. 1 through 5. Can you believe that? it had never happened before and will almost certainly never happen again. That in itself is freakin ridiculous.
Seriously, even if you don't like the beatles, you've gotta acknowledge what they did for music. Ozzy Osbourne wouldn't be around without the Beatles, and without Ozzy, HIM wouldn't be around, which would be a travesty! I mean, i'm not exactly personally thanking the Beatles for HIM, but come on man, chain of events. The Beatles should be thanked for everything.
The thing that impresses me most was their incredible growth throughout their career. What sort of band can start with a song like "Love Me Do" and end with "The Long and Winding Road"? I mean, the progression is unbelieveable. Compare "Meet the Beatles" with "Sgt. Pepper's" IS THIS EVEN THE SAME BAND!?
I don't even care that they had to drop some acid in order for many of their songs to even happen. I'm glad they dropped acid! They needed to do acid! Drugs did outstanding things for them! Props to Bob Dylan for opening their eyes to weed.
I also cannot believe what a dramatically changing fanbase they had throughout their career and now. When they first arrived on the scene, it was screaming teeneyboppers, and when they ended, they were more of a man's group. One spectrum to the other. just SWOOSH ok we're done singing love me do, on to I am the Walrus bitches!!
In 1964, Hit Parade's top 5 songs were all beatles songs. 1 through 5. Can you believe that? it had never happened before and will almost certainly never happen again. That in itself is freakin ridiculous.
Seriously, even if you don't like the beatles, you've gotta acknowledge what they did for music. Ozzy Osbourne wouldn't be around without the Beatles, and without Ozzy, HIM wouldn't be around, which would be a travesty! I mean, i'm not exactly personally thanking the Beatles for HIM, but come on man, chain of events. The Beatles should be thanked for everything.
A Study of Love (and alcohol)
A Study of Love (and alcohol)
Yes, I really am taking a class called "A Study of Love". You should really take it if you find a chance. Anyway, today we were discussing spring break and all those people that run off to exotic places to get drunk and be whores and all that fun stuff. I felt a bit out of place, being that A. i'm not going anywhere but work over spring break, and B. i am straightedge.A. Who really has the time/money to go somewhere over spring break? I had a hard enough time fitting in time to go to Target to get a sponge this week, let alone go on a fuckin vacation. When i hear "spring break", my initial thought is "YES! more time for work! more money!" NOT "yay drunk time!" I can't afford to go somewhere for spring break!! I have more important things to worry about, like rent and food.
B. Being sxe is difficult at this age. Not difficult because I have trouble fulfilling it, because i don't and never have, its just the other people that ridicule you for not filling your body with poison every chance you can. I'm being ridiculed for not drinking and smoking and being a whore, who'da thunk? It's not even that i'm sxe, its that i am just too classy to put myself in a situation where i am out of control and putting myself out there to be taken advantage of. I am too much of a lady to purposely put myself in that position just so i have some sort of "excuse" to be completely obnoxiously wild. So what if i don't want to behave like a trashy, vomit-in-the-hair slut? Isn't that a good thing? Now you know i don't have herpes. Or is that what we're looking for on spring break? Cause all these "who can have sex with the most girls" contests that guys have could also be called "how many STDs can i contract in one night"
"Ok guys, this week's std is syphalis, GO!" Yeah, right.
So listening to all these girls talk about how its fun to get drunk and have an "excuse" for your behaviour is simply embarrassing. For them and for me, to have to sit there and be unintentionally wrapped up in that stereotype (it wouldn't be a stereotype if it didn't have truth so i'm not saying it's not true for a lot of women; it's just not true for me). My teacher asked, "what makes women do that?" and nobody had an answer. Every girl immediately turned it around to blame the men. "Well the guys do the same thing, why aren't we asking them"
Ok, girls, first of all, unless someone slipped you a rufie, you weren't physically forced to down 10 shots and dance on the table without a shirt on. No man made you do that, you did that on your own will and choice. You want equality? Stop blaming males, blame yourself. You can't say "oh it was a man's influence" because that is just proving that we aren't equal, if you aren't willing to take responsibility and ownership of your own actions. It's nobody's fault but your own, not even peer pressure's. You have a brain. Use it. The excuse "well, everyone else was doing it" just isn't an excuse to sacrifice your dignity. This isn't Brave New World. We're a bit more evolved than the lemmings, so grow up and own your actions.
I have to go to class now.
Orig posted: Nov 15 Title: You May Feel a Little Sick
Pink Floyd was purposely disregarded as one of the most influential albums of all time. The writer of the article actually said "Pink Floyd is not on this list, as it should be."
Tell me, why should they be disregarded? Because everyone listens to them? How in any way does that make them UNinfluential? The mere fact that people still know who they are and still acknowledge the band as "is" not "was" says a lot. Dark Side of the Moon spent years on the billboard top 100. YEARS! not 3 weeks, not a few months, but YEARS.
oh, and according to dan, there are now apparently more than 500 days in the year.
Anyway, TIME is acting like a 16 year old hipster who won't listen to bands after more than 25 people know who they are and they don't perform in their sister's basement anymore. People like that suck and don't actually like anything, theyre too preoccupied with being different and cool and mysterious. TIME, you are NOT a mysterious hipster! You are a magazine, and you should know very well that discluding pink floyd is like discluding rolling stones or the beatles. If you had ignored either of those you'd probably be sued or something.
So anyway, TIME's website was taking comments on this so this was mine:
How can Pink Floyd possibly be ignored as one of the most influetial bands of all time? Did we completely forget about The Wall? Dark Side of the Moon? Animals? Or perhaps that DSOTM spent oh, half my life on the billboard 100. How many bands wouldn't even exist if it weren't for Pink Floyd? I believe that is the definition of 'influential'.
Also, Elvis Presley listed during the 1990s and 2000s is simply ridiculous. Elvis didn't actually record any new music during the 90s and 2000s on account of being dead. Sorry guys, Elvis is actually no longer living.
You guys at TIME should just stick to the GOP crisis and leave music to Rolling Stone.
None of you guys really listen to music and so you probably don't care but really, its pretty outrageous. I mean, any band that can make an album into a 2 hour music video deserves at least a speck of recognition.
that's my story.
Tell me, why should they be disregarded? Because everyone listens to them? How in any way does that make them UNinfluential? The mere fact that people still know who they are and still acknowledge the band as "is" not "was" says a lot. Dark Side of the Moon spent years on the billboard top 100. YEARS! not 3 weeks, not a few months, but YEARS.
oh, and according to dan, there are now apparently more than 500 days in the year.
Anyway, TIME is acting like a 16 year old hipster who won't listen to bands after more than 25 people know who they are and they don't perform in their sister's basement anymore. People like that suck and don't actually like anything, theyre too preoccupied with being different and cool and mysterious. TIME, you are NOT a mysterious hipster! You are a magazine, and you should know very well that discluding pink floyd is like discluding rolling stones or the beatles. If you had ignored either of those you'd probably be sued or something.
So anyway, TIME's website was taking comments on this so this was mine:
How can Pink Floyd possibly be ignored as one of the most influetial bands of all time? Did we completely forget about The Wall? Dark Side of the Moon? Animals? Or perhaps that DSOTM spent oh, half my life on the billboard 100. How many bands wouldn't even exist if it weren't for Pink Floyd? I believe that is the definition of 'influential'.
Also, Elvis Presley listed during the 1990s and 2000s is simply ridiculous. Elvis didn't actually record any new music during the 90s and 2000s on account of being dead. Sorry guys, Elvis is actually no longer living.
You guys at TIME should just stick to the GOP crisis and leave music to Rolling Stone.
None of you guys really listen to music and so you probably don't care but really, its pretty outrageous. I mean, any band that can make an album into a 2 hour music video deserves at least a speck of recognition.
that's my story.
Orig posted: 2-5-07 Title: Why I hate Games Express: An Essay
First off: i'd like to apologize for any words that don't exactly make sense (for example, the word 'doucheface' anywhere you think 'fuck' should be) because Dan fails.
This was originally written when i was at work at, you guessed it, Games Express, the other day and I was just reflecting on how much i hate working down there.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love working at waldenbooks. I love that job, i love donna, i love pretty much everything about it. Except Games Express. That stupid little kiosk. I hate it. Working down there after being up at Calendars is like being demoted. It really sucks. Let me give you a few reasons why i hate Games Express.
See, it really isn't even the kiosk i hate so much. It's its location and everything around it contributing to make it one big crappy place.
First, i hate the lights. I always forget to turn them on. It's just annoying to remember an hour later and stupidly turn on the lights in the middle of the day, and its even more annoying when someone like, my BOSS, comes down and reminds me and its like MOTHERDAMN!
Second.
Abercrombie. I hate that douche face store. What is their deal, anyway? Its like hey, we're abercrombie, we play really shitastic music really loudly. Why do they play such bad music? Seriously, do they just go through these really long lists of rejected songs and put them all on their playlists to play over and over again, assailing my ears? I think it is their personal mission to destory my hearing. Have you even heard some of those lyrics?
I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY
you get the idea.
They also play the song where the old man is dancing at six flags. I rest my case.
Another thing about Abercrombie. The cologne. What is their deal with the cologne. First off, it STINKS. Secondly, do you realize that they spray that nasty smelling crap all over their freaking clothes? That's just gross!! Its like, la la, working at the mall, OH GOD MY FACE!!! ITS MELTING!!! ABERCROMBIE GOT THE COLOGNE OUT!! Seriously, its like at the produce section at a grocery store, when they spray the vegetables! its rigoddamndiculous! Do they have the cologne up in their sprinkler system or something? Yeah, That's not flammable.
Moving on.
Ok, so this isn't much of an issue anymore since christmas is, you know, over, but santa. Holy god.
Not even Santa. its the parents who drag their kids in to see santa. They want to see santa more than the freakin kids! Half those children are terrified of Santa! I mean, it makes sense, your parents constantly tell you that if you talk to strangers you'll get brutally raped and murdered, and then they try to shove you into some fat guy's lap for pictures, seeming to take joy in your pain. I'd be scared too. So you get these eccentric, crazyass moms who can't understand why their 2 year old is crying and they start screaming at them ITS JUST SANTA YOU DUMB BRAT! which just kind of upsets the toddler more, i mean, come on now.
I just can't believe how dumb parents can be when it comes to their children and pictures. theyre like the hollywood moms who are trying to live through their kids, except its just a santa clause in the mall. ok moms, just fulfill your fantasies, go sit in the fat man's lap and just get it over with. its ok.
Another thing. those pagers. When things got really busy, the santa helpers handed out pagers so that people didn't have to wait in line for 2 hours, and could instead shop for 2 hours and come back when their pager beeped. Kinda like a restaurant. We're all familiar with that, right? I thought so too.
Apparently i didn't realize how difficult a pager can actually be. Ok, so i just thought, you know, you take the pager. You wait for the pager to beep. You return with pager.
Seemingly simple.
WRONG.
See, this is what you really do. You take the pager with a look of sheer bewilderment, asking why you can't just see santa now. The hostess explains to you that there is a 2 hour wait, which you don't understand because there's like 10 people in line. The hostess, whos becoming a real bitch at this point!, explains that these people have been waiting for 2 hours as well and to just take the pager and we'll page you when we're ready" and so you call her a few names and yell at her for inconveniencing you and all sorts of other things that are completely out of her control. You and your five screaming snotty whiny brats take one lap around macy's and return, thrusting the pager in the bitchy hostess's face.
"did it go off?" she asks.
"no," you reply, all ghettoass and attitude. "Was it supposed to?"
you look on in confusion as the hostess bangs her head on the counter.
This happened several times a day. I can't even imagine what it must've been like to be that hostess. I really felt bad for the girl.
Then you get the people who use location as a reason they should see santa first. The "But i came from ___________!!" people. There was one lady, she was like "2 HOURS? But i came all the way from THREE RIVERS!"
oh man, three rivers! that IS a trek!! How did you get here, covered wagon? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!? so you spent 10 minutes on the highway, so douche face what? Maybe, just MAYBE, you shouldn't have come at three o'clock in the afternoon on the saturday before christmas, nidiot.
I hate people.
I hate people and all the frucking retarded things they do, especially while at the cash register. Here are the things that drive me absolutely bizonkers.
example 1:
Me: Will that be all?
Them: yes
Me: Are you sure?
Them: Yes
Me: Are you absolutely POSITIVELY positive this is ALL you want.
Them: Yes
Me: ::pushes 'total'::
Them: oh, can i add these five things?
Me: No.
Example 2:
Me: That'll be 16.38
Them: ::hands me $20::
Me: Out of twenty?
Them: ::nod, looking unsure::
Me: ::stands still, holding the twenty and staring at the person for around 45 minutes, waiting, terrified, knowing whats coming....enters '2000' in the box and cringes and pushes 'cash'::
Them: oh, i think i have some change.
WHAT!? CHANGE? ARE YOU SERIOUS? IT TOOK YOU 2 HOURS TO FRIGGIN COUNT OUT 38 CENTS? NO! NO CHANGE! WRONG! YOU'RE GETTING CHANGE AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT, BITCH!!!!
I hate when people do shit like that! ok, just let me clarify, our cash registers are not exactly things of the 21st century. More like machines that Jesus may have used to ring up tables at his carpenter business. and we cannot just push backspace on account of people being retarded!!! goddammit, i have to give reasons when i have to void a sale, and most of the time its "customer is mentally challenged".
God.
Ok, well those are my three main things. Here are a few smaller things that make me want to puke on someone's face.
The ps3. I don't mind the ps3 so much. It's just that a lot of the time its not on. AND PEOPLE STILL TRY TO PLAY IT. hello! its douche face off! what the heck does a blank tv screen mean to you, stupid!?
People who ask if i've played the games here. Yes, nidiot, all douche face 600 of them. This is what i do with my time. I open product and play with it. Go kill yourself.
Guess. Guess and their enormous stupid lady poster blocking the store. Their freakin elephant nosebleed purses. Is that actually luggage in the display window, or is it a handbag. I CAN'T TELL.
The tarps that cover the kiosk What is up with those douche face sharp plastic things? i've stabbed myself like 39 times on those! Good lord, the bag they go in is completely annahilated! There's no point in even using the bag!
The 'That's so raven' card game. look at the cover of that game. LOOK AT HER FACE.
People who try to return stuff.
WE DON'T DO RETURNS.
It says that on your receipt, on an official store poster taped to the register, and on about 30 different man-made signs posted randomly. WE DO NOT GIVE REFUNDS! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND! i don't care who you got the game from for christmas and that it sucks! i don't care! maybe you shouldn't have bought joel olsteen's your best life now! sure i havent played it but i coulda told you it would suck hairy balls! sorry! outta luck man! deal with it! goddammit, its not hard to figure out! EXCHANGES ONLY! douche face!
And really, that about covers it.
This was a long one!!
I hope you all enjoyed my first really long blog.
This was originally written when i was at work at, you guessed it, Games Express, the other day and I was just reflecting on how much i hate working down there.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love working at waldenbooks. I love that job, i love donna, i love pretty much everything about it. Except Games Express. That stupid little kiosk. I hate it. Working down there after being up at Calendars is like being demoted. It really sucks. Let me give you a few reasons why i hate Games Express.
See, it really isn't even the kiosk i hate so much. It's its location and everything around it contributing to make it one big crappy place.
First, i hate the lights. I always forget to turn them on. It's just annoying to remember an hour later and stupidly turn on the lights in the middle of the day, and its even more annoying when someone like, my BOSS, comes down and reminds me and its like MOTHERDAMN!
Second.
Abercrombie. I hate that douche face store. What is their deal, anyway? Its like hey, we're abercrombie, we play really shitastic music really loudly. Why do they play such bad music? Seriously, do they just go through these really long lists of rejected songs and put them all on their playlists to play over and over again, assailing my ears? I think it is their personal mission to destory my hearing. Have you even heard some of those lyrics?
I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY I'M SO LUCKY LUCKY
you get the idea.
They also play the song where the old man is dancing at six flags. I rest my case.
Another thing about Abercrombie. The cologne. What is their deal with the cologne. First off, it STINKS. Secondly, do you realize that they spray that nasty smelling crap all over their freaking clothes? That's just gross!! Its like, la la, working at the mall, OH GOD MY FACE!!! ITS MELTING!!! ABERCROMBIE GOT THE COLOGNE OUT!! Seriously, its like at the produce section at a grocery store, when they spray the vegetables! its rigoddamndiculous! Do they have the cologne up in their sprinkler system or something? Yeah, That's not flammable.
Moving on.
Ok, so this isn't much of an issue anymore since christmas is, you know, over, but santa. Holy god.
Not even Santa. its the parents who drag their kids in to see santa. They want to see santa more than the freakin kids! Half those children are terrified of Santa! I mean, it makes sense, your parents constantly tell you that if you talk to strangers you'll get brutally raped and murdered, and then they try to shove you into some fat guy's lap for pictures, seeming to take joy in your pain. I'd be scared too. So you get these eccentric, crazyass moms who can't understand why their 2 year old is crying and they start screaming at them ITS JUST SANTA YOU DUMB BRAT! which just kind of upsets the toddler more, i mean, come on now.
I just can't believe how dumb parents can be when it comes to their children and pictures. theyre like the hollywood moms who are trying to live through their kids, except its just a santa clause in the mall. ok moms, just fulfill your fantasies, go sit in the fat man's lap and just get it over with. its ok.
Another thing. those pagers. When things got really busy, the santa helpers handed out pagers so that people didn't have to wait in line for 2 hours, and could instead shop for 2 hours and come back when their pager beeped. Kinda like a restaurant. We're all familiar with that, right? I thought so too.
Apparently i didn't realize how difficult a pager can actually be. Ok, so i just thought, you know, you take the pager. You wait for the pager to beep. You return with pager.
Seemingly simple.
WRONG.
See, this is what you really do. You take the pager with a look of sheer bewilderment, asking why you can't just see santa now. The hostess explains to you that there is a 2 hour wait, which you don't understand because there's like 10 people in line. The hostess, whos becoming a real bitch at this point!, explains that these people have been waiting for 2 hours as well and to just take the pager and we'll page you when we're ready" and so you call her a few names and yell at her for inconveniencing you and all sorts of other things that are completely out of her control. You and your five screaming snotty whiny brats take one lap around macy's and return, thrusting the pager in the bitchy hostess's face.
"did it go off?" she asks.
"no," you reply, all ghettoass and attitude. "Was it supposed to?"
you look on in confusion as the hostess bangs her head on the counter.
This happened several times a day. I can't even imagine what it must've been like to be that hostess. I really felt bad for the girl.
Then you get the people who use location as a reason they should see santa first. The "But i came from ___________!!" people. There was one lady, she was like "2 HOURS? But i came all the way from THREE RIVERS!"
oh man, three rivers! that IS a trek!! How did you get here, covered wagon? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!? so you spent 10 minutes on the highway, so douche face what? Maybe, just MAYBE, you shouldn't have come at three o'clock in the afternoon on the saturday before christmas, nidiot.
I hate people.
I hate people and all the frucking retarded things they do, especially while at the cash register. Here are the things that drive me absolutely bizonkers.
example 1:
Me: Will that be all?
Them: yes
Me: Are you sure?
Them: Yes
Me: Are you absolutely POSITIVELY positive this is ALL you want.
Them: Yes
Me: ::pushes 'total'::
Them: oh, can i add these five things?
Me: No.
Example 2:
Me: That'll be 16.38
Them: ::hands me $20::
Me: Out of twenty?
Them: ::nod, looking unsure::
Me: ::stands still, holding the twenty and staring at the person for around 45 minutes, waiting, terrified, knowing whats coming....enters '2000' in the box and cringes and pushes 'cash'::
Them: oh, i think i have some change.
WHAT!? CHANGE? ARE YOU SERIOUS? IT TOOK YOU 2 HOURS TO FRIGGIN COUNT OUT 38 CENTS? NO! NO CHANGE! WRONG! YOU'RE GETTING CHANGE AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT, BITCH!!!!
I hate when people do shit like that! ok, just let me clarify, our cash registers are not exactly things of the 21st century. More like machines that Jesus may have used to ring up tables at his carpenter business. and we cannot just push backspace on account of people being retarded!!! goddammit, i have to give reasons when i have to void a sale, and most of the time its "customer is mentally challenged".
God.
Ok, well those are my three main things. Here are a few smaller things that make me want to puke on someone's face.
The ps3. I don't mind the ps3 so much. It's just that a lot of the time its not on. AND PEOPLE STILL TRY TO PLAY IT. hello! its douche face off! what the heck does a blank tv screen mean to you, stupid!?
People who ask if i've played the games here. Yes, nidiot, all douche face 600 of them. This is what i do with my time. I open product and play with it. Go kill yourself.
Guess. Guess and their enormous stupid lady poster blocking the store. Their freakin elephant nosebleed purses. Is that actually luggage in the display window, or is it a handbag. I CAN'T TELL.
The tarps that cover the kiosk What is up with those douche face sharp plastic things? i've stabbed myself like 39 times on those! Good lord, the bag they go in is completely annahilated! There's no point in even using the bag!
The 'That's so raven' card game. look at the cover of that game. LOOK AT HER FACE.
People who try to return stuff.
WE DON'T DO RETURNS.
It says that on your receipt, on an official store poster taped to the register, and on about 30 different man-made signs posted randomly. WE DO NOT GIVE REFUNDS! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND! i don't care who you got the game from for christmas and that it sucks! i don't care! maybe you shouldn't have bought joel olsteen's your best life now! sure i havent played it but i coulda told you it would suck hairy balls! sorry! outta luck man! deal with it! goddammit, its not hard to figure out! EXCHANGES ONLY! douche face!
And really, that about covers it.
This was a long one!!
I hope you all enjoyed my first really long blog.
Orig date: 2-2-07. Title: SEX
I thought that'd get your attention.
Anyway, you know one thing i hate and i wish we would've left back in high school?
(not that its very relevant since kvcc is highschool part b)
Group projects.
I hate group projects.
I especially hate group projects such as the one we're doing in psy 170, that involve the 2 things i hate the most about said group projects.
1. everyone in the group receiving the same grade
2. everyone has to write part of the paper.
I hate number 1 because there will always be the one person who does literally nothing the entire time and still receives a good grade because the rest of us work our asses off.
I hate number 2 because having 4-5 different people write an 8 page paper is like looking at a painting done by 5 different people. some parts will be good, other parts will look like diarrhea. Its amazing how many people in college can't write worth a damn.
Generally i hate working with other people, especially people i don't know. So when they say, 'oh lets just do stds, thats easy' i can't really respond with 'oh yeah sure, but i was thinking something more along the lines of...interesting...and....thought provoking. But hey, whatever you want'.
STDS! How orignial! I bet our teacher has NEVER read a paper on STDs before. Don't you think that's a little, oh, BROAD? The other girls were like 'yeah, i think we can get 8 pages on stds' (8 page requirement) and i'm thinking to myself, 'yeah, its not like there have been books dedicated to stds or anything, i bet we can manage 8 pages double spaced. gee'
See, if i'm going to do a semester-long research project, i want to do something INTERESTING. The first idea one of the girls in our group came up with was transgender issues. Now i thought that was a great idea. It's thought-provoking, something the general public doesn't know much about, and its still considered a social taboo. It's INTERESTING. The other people were concerned that we wouldnt be able to get 8 pages out of it. Hello!? what kind of paper are you writing? have you never written a research paper before? I could get 8 pages out of simply talking about how society feels about transgender issues for douche face. Double spaced, kids! Its like four pages!
So we're probably gonna end up doing the cop-out 8th grade STD lame-O presentation, and i'll be done in about 20 minutes since i can pull most of it out of my ass from what i learned in douche face freshman focus.
Shame on me for wanting to learn something new!!
Anyway, you know one thing i hate and i wish we would've left back in high school?
(not that its very relevant since kvcc is highschool part b)
Group projects.
I hate group projects.
I especially hate group projects such as the one we're doing in psy 170, that involve the 2 things i hate the most about said group projects.
1. everyone in the group receiving the same grade
2. everyone has to write part of the paper.
I hate number 1 because there will always be the one person who does literally nothing the entire time and still receives a good grade because the rest of us work our asses off.
I hate number 2 because having 4-5 different people write an 8 page paper is like looking at a painting done by 5 different people. some parts will be good, other parts will look like diarrhea. Its amazing how many people in college can't write worth a damn.
Generally i hate working with other people, especially people i don't know. So when they say, 'oh lets just do stds, thats easy' i can't really respond with 'oh yeah sure, but i was thinking something more along the lines of...interesting...and....thought provoking. But hey, whatever you want'.
STDS! How orignial! I bet our teacher has NEVER read a paper on STDs before. Don't you think that's a little, oh, BROAD? The other girls were like 'yeah, i think we can get 8 pages on stds' (8 page requirement) and i'm thinking to myself, 'yeah, its not like there have been books dedicated to stds or anything, i bet we can manage 8 pages double spaced. gee'
See, if i'm going to do a semester-long research project, i want to do something INTERESTING. The first idea one of the girls in our group came up with was transgender issues. Now i thought that was a great idea. It's thought-provoking, something the general public doesn't know much about, and its still considered a social taboo. It's INTERESTING. The other people were concerned that we wouldnt be able to get 8 pages out of it. Hello!? what kind of paper are you writing? have you never written a research paper before? I could get 8 pages out of simply talking about how society feels about transgender issues for douche face. Double spaced, kids! Its like four pages!
So we're probably gonna end up doing the cop-out 8th grade STD lame-O presentation, and i'll be done in about 20 minutes since i can pull most of it out of my ass from what i learned in douche face freshman focus.
Shame on me for wanting to learn something new!!
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